“A moment, Mr. Leigh. I have no prejudice against you. I am not the
judge of your conduct. I claim the right to decide for my daughter--that
is all. I have no prejudice or feeling against you.”
“Colonel Kingsward,” cried Aubrey, “for God’s sake listen! Hear what I
have to say!”
The Colonel looked at him again. Perhaps it was the passion of
earnestness in the young man’s face that touched him. Perhaps he felt
that it was unwise to leave it to be said that he had not heard both
sides. The end was that he waved his hand and said:
“My time is not my own. I have no right to spend it on merely private
interests; but if you will make your story as short as possible I will
hear what you have to say.”
CHAPTER IX.
The story which Aubrey Leigh had to tell was indeed made as short as
possible. To describe the most painful crisis in your life, the moment
which you yourself shudder to look back at, which awakens in you that
fury of self-surprise, horror and wonder which a sudden departure from
all the habits of your life brings after it when it is guilt, is not an
easy thing; but it supplies terse expressions and rapidity of narration.
There is no desire to dwell upon the details, and to tell a story so
deeply affecting one’s self to a politely unsympathetic listener who
does not affect to be much interested or at all moved by the subtle
self-defence which runs through every such statement, is still more
conducive to brevity. Aubrey laid bare the tempest that had swept over
him with a breathless voice and broken words. He could not preserve his
equanimity, or look as if it were an easy thing for him to do. He made
the most hurried description of the visitor who had taken possession of
his house, saying not a word beyond the bare fact. It had been deeply
embarrassing that she should be there, though at first in the melancholy
of his widowerhood he had not thought of it, or cared who was in the
house. Afterwards he was prevented from doing anything to disturb her by
his promise to his dying wife. Then had come the anxiety about the baby,
the wavering of that little life in which the forlorn young father had
come to take a little pleasure. She had been very kind to the child,
watching over it, and when the little thing died, when the misery of the
fresh desolation, and the pity of it, and the overwhelming oppression of
the sad house had quite overcome the spirit of its young master, then
she had thrown herself upon him, with all the signs of a sudden passion
of sympathy and tenderness. Had any confessor skilled in the accounts of
human suffering heard Aubrey’s broken tale he could have found nothing
but truth in it, and would have recognised the subtle sequence of events
which had led to that downfall. But Colonel Kingsward, though not
unlearned in men, listened like a man of wood, playing with the large
paper-knife, and never looking towards the penitent, who told his story
with such a strain of the labouring breast and agonised spirit. Had a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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