“You forget, Bee,” said Mrs. Kingsward, “How easy it looked for that
saint in the picture. I always liked to watch the birds floating down
on the wind, never moving their wings. That’s what seems no trouble, so
easy; not too hot nor too cold, nor tiring, neither to the breath nor
anything. I shouldn’t like to leave you. No--But then:” she added, with
a smile, “I should not require to leave you. I’d--I’d--What was I
saying? Moulsey, will you please give me some--more--”
She held out her hand again for the glass which Moulsey had just put
down.
“It makes me strong--it makes me speak. I’m--sinking away again, Bee.
Hold me--hold me tight. If I was to slip away--down--down--down to the
cellars or somewhere.” The feeble laugh was dreadful for the listeners
to hear.
“Run,” cried Moulsey, in Bee’s ear, “the doctor--the doctor! in the
library.”
And then there was a strange phantasmagoria that seemed to fill the
night, one scene melting into another. The doctor rousing from his doze,
his measured step coming back; the little struggle round the bed;
Moulsey giving place to the still darker shadow; the glow of Mrs.
Kingsward’s flushed and feverish countenance between; then the quiet,
and then again sleep--sleep broken by feeble movements, by the quick
panting of the breath.
“She’ll be easier now,” the doctor said. “You must go to bed, my dear
young lady. Moulsey can manage for the rest of the night.”
“Doctor,” said Bee, with something in her throat that stopped the words,
“doctor--will she--must she? Oh, doctor, say that is not what it means?
One of us, it would not matter, but mother--mother!”
“It is not in our hands,” the doctor said. “It is not much we can do.
Don’t look at me as if I were God. It is little, little I can do.”
“They say,” cried poor Bee, “that you can do anything. It is when there
is no doctor, no nurse that people---- Oh, my mother--my mother! Doctor,
don’t let it be.”
“You are but a child,” said the doctor, patting her kindly on the
shoulder, “you’ve not forgotten how to say your prayers. That’s the
only thing for you to do. Those that say such things of doctors know
very little. We stand and look on. Say your prayers, little girl--if
they do her no good, they’ll do you good. And now she’ll have a little
sleep.”
Bee caught him by the arm. “Sleep,” she said, looking at him
suspiciously. “Sleep?”
“Yes, sleep--that may give her strength for another day. Oh, ask no
more, child. Life is not mine to give.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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