Betty, who was so young, crept nearer and nearer on her knees, till she
came to the head of the bed. She lifted up her tear-stained face,
“Mother! oh, mother! are you frightened?” she cried.
Mrs. Kingsward put forth her other arm and put it freely round the
weeping girl. “Perhaps I ought to be, perhaps I ought to be!” she said,
with a little thrill and quaver.
“Mother,” said Betty, pushing closer and closer, almost pushing Bee
away, “if I had been wicked, ever so wicked, I shouldn’t be frightened
for you.”
A heavenly smile came over the woman’s face. “I should think not,
indeed.”
And then Betty, in the silence of the room, put her hands together and
said very softly, “Our Father, which art in Heaven--”
“Oh, children, children,” cried Moulsey, “don’t break our hearts! She’s
too weak to bear it. Leave her alone.”
“Yes, go away, children dear--go away. I have to rest--to see Mr.
Baldwin.” Then she smiled, and said in gasps, “To tell the
truth--I’m--I’m not afraid; look--” She pointed to the picture by her
bedside. “So easy--so easy! Just resting--and the Saviour will put out
his hand and take me in.”
Mr. Baldwin came soon after--the good Rector, who was a good man, but
who believed he had the keys, and that what he bound on earth was bound
in Heaven--or, at least, he thought he believed so--with Colonel
Kingsward, who felt that he was thus fulfilling all righteousness, and
that this was the proper way in which to approach the everlasting doors.
He put away the little picture in which Catherine of Siena lay in the
hold of the angels, in the perfect peace of life accomplished, the rest
that was so easy and so sweet--hastily with displeasure and contempt. He
did not wish the Rector to see the childish thing in which his wife had
taken pleasure, nor even that she had been taking pleasure at all at
such a solemn moment; even that she should smile the same smile of
welcome with which she would have greeted her kind neighbour had she
been in her usual place in the drawing-room disturbed her husband. So
near death and yet able to think of that! He watched her face as the
Rector read the usual prayers. Did she enter into them--did she
understand them? He could scarcely join in them himself in his anxiety
to make sure that she felt and knew what was her “state,” and was
preparing--preparing to meet her God. That God was awaiting severely the
appearance of that soul before him, the Colonel could not but feel. He
would not have said so in words, but the instinctive conviction in his
heart was so. When she looked round for the little picture it hurt him
like a sting. Oh, if she would but think of the things that concerned
her peace--not of follies, childish distractions, amusements for the
fancy. On her side, the poor lady was conscious more or less of all that
was going on, understood here and there the prayers that were going over
her head, prayers of others for her, rather than anything to be said by
herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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