He was agitated, his life was full of excitement, and speculation, and
trouble. But this is nothing dreadful in a young man’s life. It was
perhaps better, more enlivening, more vivid, than the delights of an
undisturbed love-making, followed by a triumphant marriage. It is well
sometimes that the course of true love should not run smooth. He thought
himself unhappy in being separated from Bee; but the keen delight of her
determination to stand by him for good or evil, her faith in him, her
championship, and the conviction that this being so all must come right
in the end, was like a stream of bright fresh water flowing through the
somewhat sombre flat of his existence. It had been very sombre in the
early days of what people thought his youthful happiness--very flat,
monotonous, yet with ignoble contentions in it. Bee’s sunshiny nature,
full of lights and shadows, had changed the whole landscape, and now
the excitement of this struggle for her, changed it still more. It might
be a hard battle, but they would win in the end. Whether he, a somewhat
unlucky fellow, would have done so was very doubtful--but for her the
stars would fight in their courses. Everything would be overturned in
the world, rather than that Bee should be made miserable, and since she
had set her dear heart on him, on his behalf too the very elements would
fight, for how otherwise could Bee be made happy? The argument was
without a flaw.
This was his reasoning, never put, I need not say, into any formula of
words, yet vaguely believed in, and forming a source of the brightest
exhilaration in his life, rousing all combative influences by the power
of that hope of success which was a certainty in such a case. This
exhilaration was crossed by the blackest of disappointments, and
threatened to become despair when for days he had no sign of existence
from Bee: but that after all was only a keener excitement--the sting of
anxiety which makes after satisfaction more sweet. And then he was
consoled to hear of Mrs. Kingsward’s illness, which explained
everything. Not that Aubrey was selfish enough to rejoice in that poor
lady’s suffering. He would have been shocked and horrified by the
thought. But then it was no unusual thing for Mrs. Kingsward to be ill;
it is not unusual, a young man so easily thinks, for any middle-aged
person to be ill--and in so many cases it does not seem to do them much
harm; whereas it did him much good--for it explained the silence of Bee!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account