was so easy for a roused imagination to think was penetrated, too, by
the sentiment of sorrow and of peace. The Colonel’s voice put every
gentler vision to flight. “Is it possible that any of you are out here
in the garden--of all nights in the world on this night?” Oh! the very
night of all nights to be there--in the first awe and silence, watching
her pass, as it were, to the very gates of Heaven! Perhaps, it was
unawares from Bee’s mind that this idea came to his--“to watch her
ascending, trailing clouds of glory,” as the poet said; but that was the
spirit coming and not going. These thoughts flew through his mind in the
shock and irritation of the Colonel’s voice. And then the shadows under
the tree seemed to fly away and disperse, and silence fell upon all
around, the great ghostly trees standing up immovable like muffled
giants in the moonlight, their shadows making lines and heavy clumps of
blackness on the turf, the late roses showing pale in the distance, the
garden paths white and desolate. A moment more, and the harsh sound,
almost angry, of the Colonel’s window shutting, of bolts and bars, and a
final closing up of everything came unkindly upon the hushed air. And
then the moonlight reached the shut up house, all unresponsive, with
death in it, with one faint light burning in the large window upstairs,
showing where the gentle inmate lay who needed light no more. Strange
prejudice of humanity that put out all the lights for sleep, but
surrounds death with them, that no careless spirit may mistake for a
common chamber the place where that last majesty lies.
Aubrey stood alone in this hushed and silent world. His heart was as
heavy as a stone, heavy with grief for the friend who had passed for
ever out of his life. He had not known perhaps till now what he too had
lost--a friend, who would not have forsaken him not a very strong
champion to fight for him; but a friend that never, whatever might be
said, would have refused to hear him, refused to give him her sympathy.
Had Bee, his own Bee, refused? The young man was bewildered beyond the
power of thought. Was it his fault to have come too soon? Was it an
outrage to be there on the night of the mother’s death? But there was no
outrage in his thoughts, not even any selfishness. It was her he had
been thinking of, not himself; that she might feel there was someone
whose thoughts were all hers, who was herself, not another, feeling with
her, mourning with her, her very own to take the half of her burden. He
had felt that he could not be far away while Bee was in trouble--that
even to stand outside would be something, would somehow lighten her
load, would make her feel in the very air a consciousness of the mighty
love that would
cleave in twain
The lading of a single pain
And part it giving half to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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