nineteen could not, should not be! And for this she would throw aside
her own life--and him, whose life it was also. He would never, never
consent to such a sacrifice, he said to himself. Bee was not soft and
yielding, like their mother. She was a determined little thing. She
would stand to it, and sacrifice him as she sacrificed herself, unless
he made a bold stand from the first. No, no, no! Whatever was to be
done, that must not be done. He would not have it--he must let her know
from the very first--if it were not that she knew already, and that this
was the reason why she was silent, feeling that if ever they met she
could not hold out against him. Poor little Bee! Poor, poor little Bee!
Her mother dead, and her father so stern; and thinking it her duty--her
duty, God bless her!--to take all that household upon her little
shoulders. The tears came into his eyes with a sudden softening. She
thought it better to keep him at arm’s length, the darling, knowing that
she never could stand against him, that he would never, never consent;
the little, sublime, unreasonable girl! The things they took into their
heads, these inexperienced, generous creatures! But, thank heaven, he
was here; even though she held him at bay--here, to make all right.
The reader knows that poor Bee was not actuated by such lofty feelings,
but then Aubrey had no knowledge in his mind of that strange story which
had destroyed her faith in him. When a man is guilty he knows all that
can be brought against him, in which, in its way, there is a certain
advantage. He cannot be taken by surprise. He knows that this or that is
lying ready like a secret weapon apt to be picked up by any man who may
wish to do him harm. But the innocent man has not that safeguard. It is
not likely to occur to him that harmless circumstances may be so twisted
as to look like guilt. For his own part he had forgotten all about that
little episode on the railway--or if he remembered it, it was with a
smile and a glow of momentary pleasure, to think how, with a little
money--so small a matter--he had been able to make comfort take the
place of misery to the poor little family, whom perhaps he would never
have noticed at all had not his thoughts been full of Bee. He had done
that for her with the feeling with which he might have given her an
ornament or a basket of flowers; the only drawback to the pleasure of it
being that he could not tell her off-hand, and get the smile of thanks
she would give him for it--far more than he deserved, for he liked doing
it--kindness coming natural to this young man. It was hard on Aubrey in
the complications of fate that this innocent, nay praiseworthy, incident
should be made the occasion of his trouble. But he had no suspicion of
it--forgot the fact, indeed, altogether--and would have laughed at the
idea that such an accidental occurrence could in any way influence his
fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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