"Did you hear about the bunch of us going yachting in Gym Bagley's yacht The Hornet the other day? He calls it The Hornet because he got stung when he bought it. The weather was all to the good the other afternoon, so we hike up to Harlem and collar the ship, six of us, and, after loading a bunch of bottled ballast on board, we started out. Gosh, the water was lovely. Gym don't care what becomes of the blooming barge as long as it doesn't get lost. You can even sink it, if you mark the spot. We all leave our Merry Widow lids in the boathouse, 'cause the boat wouldn't hold them, and sallied forth. "Wilbur said he knew how to sail a boat. Come to find out later, it was a stone boat he had been educated on. "Well, we elected him the chauffeur and, after hoisting the sail, the gallant craft with its merry-merry crew swung out into the stream. Yo ho, my lads, yo, ho. "The wind was blowing one way and we wanted to go the other, so after nearly wrecking a couple of tugboats and a brick scow, we fixed the sail so the wind would push the boat right along. Aye, aye, captain, a fish sou'-sou' by east with the wind in his teeth! The sturdy vessel was just tearing along. Honest, you could see it move--right along, just like a clam, when Alla, who, you all know, is the human goat, in trying to reach for a bottle of beer that didn't belong to her, fell overboard. "It served her right and I told the gang to hit her on the nob with an oar when she came-up. We dragged her in, however, and wrapped her up in a bunch of coats and set her on the front stoop of the craft to dry. "She got jerry to the fact that there was a bottle of jig juice in the galley and at once threw a chill. Honest, to see that fluff do a stage chill would have made a eel laugh, ha! ha! in that manner. She shook so hard she nearly threw us all out of the scow, so that we finally had to listen to her pleadings and pass her the booze. "I was for letting her shake so if we wanted mixed drinks al we would have to do was to put the glass in her mitt and say go to it, but some of the gazabos in the mob got a sympathy streak and let her have it. I'd a let her had it, all right, all right, the outside of the bottle right on the marcel. "The subterfuges these Janes will indulge in to accomplish their ends makes my goat jump the barrier. "Nothing else marred our pleasant little sail up the river except when we opened the lunch box we found only one sandwich, and no one would eat it. Everybody wanted to trade their interest in it for a bottle of beer, and there was nearly a riot. "It was finally settled by Wilbur, who is always the fair-haired boy when it comes to emergencies. He took the sandwich and threw it overboard and each and every member of the famished crew had another eyedropper full of suds. If it hadn't been for him, we would be out there yet.