With Brats and Wives in _Caravan_; Unless perchance they'd got the Trick, To eat no more than Porker sick; Or could with well contented Maws Quarter like (v) Bears upon their Paws. Thinking his Reasons to confute, I gravely thus commenc'd Dispute, And urged that tho' a _Chinese_ Host, Might penetrate this _Indian_ Coast, Yet this was certainly most true, They never cou'd the Isles subdue; For knowing not to steer a Boat, They could not on the Ocean float, Or plant their Sunburnt Colonies, In Regions parted by the Seas; I thence inferr'd (w) _Phoenicians_ old, Discover'd first with Vessels bold These Western Shoars, and planted here, Returning once or twice a Year, With _Naval Stoars_ and Lasses kind, To comfort those were left behind; Till by the Winds and Tempest toar, From their intended Golden Shoar, They suffer'd Ship-wreck, or were drown'd, And lost the World so newly found. But after long and learn'd Contention, We could not finish our dissention; And when that both had talk'd their fill, We had the self same Notion still. Thus Parson grave well read and Sage, Does in dispute with Priest engage; The one protests they are not Wise, Who judge by (x) Sense and trust their Eyes; And vows he'd burn for it at Stake, That Man may God his Maker make; The other smiles at his Religion, And vows he's but a learned Widgeon: And when they have empty'd all their Stoar From Books or Fathers, are not more Convinc'd or wiser than before. Scarce had we finish'd serious Story, But I espy'd the Town before me, And roaring Planters on the ground, Drinking of Healths in Circle round: Dismounting Steed with friendly Guide, Our Horses to a Tree we ty'd, And forwards pass'd among the Rout, To chuse convenient _Quarters_ out: But being none were to be found, We sat like others on the ground Carousing Punch in open Air, Till Cryer did the Court declare; The planting Rabble being met Their Drunken Worships likewise set; Cryer proclaims that Noise shou'd cease And streight the Lawyers broke the Peace: Wrangling for Plantiff and Defendant, I thought they ne'er wou'd make an end on't: With nonsense, stuff and false quotations, With brazen Lyes and Allegations; And in the splitting of the Cause, They used much Motions with their Paws, As shew'd their Zeal was strongly bent, In Blows to end the Argument. A reverend Judge, who to the shame Of all the Bench, cou'd write his (y) his Name; At Petty-fogger took offence, And wonder'd at his Impudence. My Neighbour _Dash_ with scorn replies, And in the Face of Justice flies; The Bench in fury streight divide, And Scribble's take or Judge's side; The Jury, Lawyers and their Clyents, Contending fight like earth-born Gyants; But Sheriff wily lay perdue, Hoping Indictments wou'd ensue, And when---------------------- A Hat or Wig fell in the way,