"But of course. I almost missed it, even after you practically drew me
a diagram. If I could read minds, just as soon as anybody found it
out, he'd be afraid of me, or hate me, like the book said, and you
said, too. If you believed it, you'd do something like having me
locked up in a hospital, maybe, instead of...."
"Instead of what, Lucilla?"
"Instead of being patient, and nice, and helping me see how silly I've
been." She reached out impulsively to touch his hand, then withdrew
her own, feeling somewhat foolish when he made no move to respond.
Her relief was too great, however, to be contained in silence. "Way
back the first time I came in, almost, you said that before we
finished therapy, you'd know me better than I knew myself. I didn't
believe you--maybe I didn't want to--but I begin to think you were
right. Lot of times, lately, you've answered a question before I even
asked it. Sometimes you haven't even bothered to answer--you've just
sat there in your big brown chair and I've lain here on the couch, and
we've gone through something together without using words at all...."
She had started out almost gaily, the words spilling over each other
in their rush to be said, but bit by bit she slowed down, then
faltered to a stop. After she had stopped talking altogether, she
could still hear her last few phrases, repeated over and over, like an
echo that refused to die. (Answered ... before I even asked ...
without using words at all ... without using words....)
She could almost taste the terror that clogged her throat and dried her
lips. "You do believe it. And you could have me locked up. Only ...
only...." Fragments of thought, splinters of words, and droplets of
silence spun into a kaleidoscopic jumble, shifted infinitesimally, and
fell into an incredible new pattern. Understanding displaced terror and
was, in turn, displaced by indignation. She stared accusingly at her
interrogator. "But you look just like ... just like anybody."
"You expected perhaps three legs or a long bushy tail or teeth like
that textbook tiger?"
"And you're a psychiatrist!"
"What else? Would you have talked to me like this across a grocery
counter, Lucilla? Or listened to me, if I'd been driving a bus or
filling a prescription? Would I have found the others in a bowling
alley or a business office?"
"Then there are ... others?" She let out her breath on a long sigh
involuntarily glancing again at the framed picture. "Only I love Paul,
and he isn't ... he can't...."
"Nor can Carol." His eyes were steady on hers, yet she felt as if he
were looking through and beyond her. For no reason at all, she
strained her ears for the sound of footsteps or the summons of a
voice. "Where do you suppose the second little blob of protoplasm with
legs came from?" Dr. Andrews asked. "And the third? If that ape who
found he could stand erect had walked lonesomely off into the sunset
like a second-rate actor on a late, late show, where do you suppose
you'd be today?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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