"Didn't," said Lucilla, putting her purse away and whisking the cover off
her typewriter. "Happenstance, that's all." (Just happened to go down to
the library ... for no reason at all ... withholding something ... get out
of the way....) The telephone's demand for attention overrode her
thoughts. She reached for it almost gratefully. "Mr. Hoskins' office," she
said. "Yes. Yes, he knows about the ten o'clock meeting this morning.
Thanks for calling, anyway." She hung up and glanced at G.G., but he was
so immersed in one of the magazines that the ringing telephone hadn't even
disturbed him. Ringing? The last thing she did before she left the office
each night was set the lever in the instrument's base to "off," so that
the bell would not disturb G.G. if he worked late. So far today, nobody
had set it back to "on."
* * * * *
"It's getting worse," she said miserably to the pale blue ceiling.
"The phone didn't ring this morning--it couldn't have--but I answered
it." Dr. Andrews said nothing at all. She let her eyes flicker
sidewise, but he was outside her range of vision. "I don't LIKE
having you sit where I can't see you," she said crossly. "Freud may
have thought it was a good idea, but I think it's a lousy one." She
clenched her hands and stared at nothing. The silence stretched
thinner and thinner, like a balloon blown big, until the temptation to
rupture it was too great to resist. "I didn't see the truck this
morning. Nor hear it. There was no reason at all for me to slow down
and pull over."
"You might be dead if you hadn't. Would you like that better?"
The matter-of-fact question was like a hand laid across Lucilla's
mouth. "I don't want to be dead," she admitted finally. "Neither do I
want to go on like this, hearing words that aren't spoken and bells
that don't ring. When it gets to the point that I pick up a phone just
because somebody's thinking...." She stopped abruptly.
"I didn't quite catch the end of that sentence," Dr. Andrews said.
"I didn't quite finish it. I can't."
"Can't? Or won't? Don't hold anything back, Lucilla. You were saying
that you picked up the phone just because somebody was thinking...."
He paused expectantly. Lucilla reread the ornate letters on the framed
diploma on the wall, looked critically at the picture of Mrs.
Andrews--whom she'd met--and her impish daughter--whom she
hadn't--counted the number of pleats in the billowing drapes, ran a
tentative finger over the face of her wristwatch, straightened a fold
of her skirt ... and could stand the silence no longer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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