About the time I first addressed my present spouse, her father gave out in speeches that if she married a man he liked, he would give with her 200_l_. in cash on the day of marriage. He never said so much to me, it is true, but he always received me very kindly at his house, and openly countenanced my courtship. I formed several fine schemes what to do with this same 200_l_. and in some measure neglected my business on that account; but unluckily it came to pass that when the old gentleman saw I was pretty well engaged and that the match was too far gone to be easily broke off, he without any reason given, grew very angry, forbid me the house, and told his daughter that if she married me he would not give her a farthing. However (as he thought) we were not to be disappointed in that manner, but having stole a wedding I took her home to my house, where we were not in quite so poor a condition as the couple described in the Scotch song, who had Neither pot nor pan But four bare legs together, for I had a house tolerably furnished for a poor man, before. No thanks to Dad, who, I understand, was very much pleased with his politic management; and I have since learned that there are other old curmudgeons (so called) besides him, who have this trick to marry their daughters, and yet keep what they might well spare, till they can keep it no longer. But this by way of digression, a word to the wise is enough. I soon saw that with ease and industry we might live tolerably easy and in credit with our neighbors; but my wife had a strong inclination to be a gentlewoman. In consequence of this, my old fashioned looking glass was one day broke, as she said, _no one could tell which way_. However, since we could not be without a glass in the room, _My dear_, saith she, _we may as well buy a large fashionable one that Mr. Such-a-one has to sell. It will cost but little more than a common glass, and will look much handsomer and more creditable._ Accordingly, the glass was bought and hung against the wall, but in a week's time I was made sensible by little and little, that _the table was by no means suitable to such a glass_; and a more proper table being procured, some time after, my spouse, who was an excellent contriver, informed me where we might have very handsome chairs _in the way_; and thus by degrees I found all my old furniture stowed up in the garret, and every thing below altered for the better.