The Southern Literary Messenger, Volume I., 1834-35Various
General
The Southern Literary Messenger, Volume I., 1834-35
Various
American literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals
when once married, when once in that intimacy of friendship, the
unspeakable love she felt for him could disclose itself with less
restraint than at present,--she should perhaps regain a heart which
had been so devotedly hers, that she could not think that without a
fault it was irrevocably gone: on that hope she anchored all the
little happiness that remained to her. And still St. Amand pressed
their marriage, but in what different tones! In fact, he wished to
preclude from himself the possibility of a deeper ingratitude than
that which he had incurred already. He vainly thought that the broken
reed of love might be bound up and strengthened by the ties of duty;
and at least he was anxious that his hand, his fortune, his esteem,
his gratitude, should give to Lucille the only recompense it was now
in his power to bestow. Meanwhile, left alone so often with Julie, and
Julie bent on achieving the last triumph over his heart, St. Amand was
gradually preparing a far different reward, a far different return for
her to whom he owed so incalculable a debt.
There was a garden behind the house, in which there was a small arbor,
where often in the summer evenings Eugene and Lucille had sat
together--hours never to return! One day she heard from her own
chamber, where she sat mourning, the sound of St. Amand's flute
swelling gently from that beloved and consecrated bower. She wept as
she heard it, and the memories that the music bore softening and
endearing his image, she began to reproach herself that she had
yielded so often to the impulse of her wounded feelings; that, chilled
by _his_ coldness, she had left him so often to himself, and had not
sufficiently dared to tell him of that affection which, in her modest
self-depreciation, constituted her only pretension to his love.
"Perhaps he is alone now," she thought; "the tune too is one which he
knew that I loved:" and with her heart on her step, she stole from the
house and sought the arbor. She had scarce turned from her chamber
when the flute ceased; as she neared the arbor she heard
voices--Julie's voice in grief, St. Amand's in consolation. A dread
foreboding seized her; her feet clung rooted to the earth.
"Yes, marry her--forget me," said Julie; "in a few days you will be
another's and I, I--forgive me, Eugene, forgive me that I have
disturbed your happiness. I am punished sufficiently--my heart will
break, but it will break loving you"--sobs choked Julie's voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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