Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Space pirates -- Fiction; Space ships -- Fiction
Jak could see no other course but to believe the man, whose brain had
obviously deteriorated. He said, "Check. You're a pirate. Why? Why is
he wrecking my equipment, and why are you armed?"
"Because there is nothing exciting!" Flim declaimed. "The whole Solar
System is humble drum. I would have ridden the star-plane to new
adventure, but they refused me. On Earth, they made me a microcataloger
maintainer. Me! Its sole benefit was to acquaint me with the great
piratical traditions of the past by revealing records available only to
qualified scholars. No, there is nothing both legitimate and exciting
to do any more."
Jak said, "Why don't you find a quick cure for dementia praecox? That
hasn't been done."
"I dislike your tone," Flim rasped. "Looge! Silence him!"
The scarred man, who had stood without moving, blinked his visible eye
and grunted, "Yer, uh, what?"
"Silence him!"
"Oh. Er, how?"
"Knock him down!" Flim cried. "Beat him! Use your fists!"
Drusilla giggled. "Now we'll see if you're brave as you always tell me,
Jak."
* * * * *
Jak gaped at her in amazement. "Drusilla," he wheezed. "Are you turning
against me completely? After all--our child! I know you're attracted to
this man. All women are attracted by anything vulgar, but--"
Drusilla placed one hand on her hip and fluffed her hair with the
other. "All you've ever done for me is give me three boring months in
the Rings," she said.
Jak stood with open mouth, and Looge squeezed past Flim. Grasping his
right wrist with his left hand, Looge drew back his arm. "No, no," Flim
said. "Use one hand at a time!"
Looge mumbled and cocked his right arm. With no gravity, the force of
this movement yanked his magnetized boots from the deck and sent him
sprawling across the astrogator's couch.
Flim stroked the loathsome triangle of hair on his chin and sighed,
"How decadent we are these days! He does not even understand brutality."
"Bring over the rest of your crew," Jak said. "They may."
With nauseous pride, Flim bellowed, "This is my crew! We three against
the void! Ger, find a plank!"
Ger turned holding a mess of loosened wiring in his hand and asked, "A
what?"
"A plank."
Drusilla said, "I know what you mean. Jak has one in quarters. He does
woodcarving. Of all the silly hobbies--"
"Don't be so helpful," Jak told Drusilla. "Leave that plank alone. It's
the only piece of red cedar this side of Oak Ridge."
"You shall walk it," Flim predicted. "It is one of the most famous
piratical traditions. In shark infested waters, a plank was extended
over the side of the ship and all male prisoners were required to walk
out it until they fell to their--death."
Jak shuddered at the pirate's calm use of the ugly archaic word. Flim
inclined his head to Drusilla. "You, of course, fair lady, will be
spared so awful a fate. When this creature, who, I perceive, has used
you most cruelly, is no more, we shall see the stars together."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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