Then she let the door swing to, turned her back on the place, and walked
away. It was not in her to philosophize. What had been done, she felt
like a personal injury. If the place had merely been dirtied and damaged
by billeting or shell-fire, she would have shrugged her shoulders and
put it straight. But this systematic conversion struck deep at her sense
of personal possession. They had challenged her right to something she
felt to be most deeply her own. For once she was at a loss, was done,
beaten, did not know how to adjust herself, hit back. Georges seemed
smaller, further off, than she had ever felt him. Her love for him now
seemed almost ridiculous, temporary, and forever done with. She was
aroused from her reverie by the thick undergrowth that barred her steps,
and realized that she was walking down the northeastern slope of the
wood, with her back to the farm. That recalled her to herself. She
retraced her steps, skirted the clearing, dodged the trenches and wire,
and descended the hill towards home, head up, face impenetrable,
mistress of herself. But in her heart she was banking up the slow
burning fires of resentment. The less easy it was to find legitimate
fuel for them, the more she fed them with the first thing or person that
came to hand, feeling herself wronged and slighted by all the world.
* * * * *
There remained one more ghost to be laid, one thin wraith that Madeleine
hardly noticed, hovering at the back of her war-memories. She did not
call up this last apparition, it came to her.
As gray January slid into February, she became aware, amid her
engrossing preoccupation with the farm, that a Labor Corps battalion was
working on the clearance of the neighboring trenchlines. They were
composed of German prisoners and Chinese, officered by a few English.
Presently an orderly called, a German orderly, sent to buy eggs. She
sent him about his business, curtly. This brought an officer, fair,
bald, thickset, speaking little French. He smiled at her with an
irritating cocksureness, and inquired for her father. Then she
recognized him. It was the Lieutenant Millgate who had come to the farm
late one night in 1915 with Lieutenant Skene, to join the Easthamptons.
She found him some eggs for old times’ sake, charged him a pre-war
price and forgot him again. He was no ghost; he was an insignificant
fact, and did not haunt her.
But there came a gray day when he reappeared, and not alone. Another
officer in khaki, taller but slighter, was riding behind him, and tried
to greet old Jerome, who ignored the greeting. Before she knew what had
happened, Geoffrey Skene stood before her. Almost mechanically, for she
could not say what she felt, she bade him enter and sit down. Once he
was seated, following her with his eyes, all her vindictiveness found
vent in the words:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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