But now, as she stood in the empty room, on this October afternoon of
1915, she was as far from ruminating on the beginnings of the affair as
she was from the neo-classic tower of Merville Church, visible fifteen
kilometers away, in the pale sunshine, through a gap in the branches.
She had to stop for a moment to get used to the atmosphere, as a diver
adjusts himself to the pressure of a lower level, but it was an
unconscious pause; then, pressing her lips together, she dusted and
swept, opened the windows, banged mats and covers. Not that she hoped by
the elaborate preparation of a room unused these fifteen months, and
destined to be empty many another, to charm back the man through whom
alone that room interested her. Madeleine’s point of view was much
simpler. Her father had charge of the shooting. She had automatically
undertaken the care of the shelter. Having done so, unasked and unpaid,
as part of the general unwritten arrangement between her father and the
Baron, she could be trusted to go through with it, whatever happened.
Her task finished, she straightened her back and stood, hands on her
hips, looking at nothing. From somewhere beyond Estaires, Civenchy or
Festubert perhaps, came the sound of guns; some petty incident of the
four-hundred-mile year-long battle was dragging out its squalid tragedy.
Her lips moved, formed the words “Bêtes--sales bêtes!” which mean so
much more than “dirty beasts” and something more immediate than “foul
brutes” in English. No sound came. All that feeling of hers was too deep
down to struggle into active expression through her habitual reserve
and acquiescence with current manners. Not hers to criticize or revolt,
hers only to feel, to feel with all the depth of a narrow, obstinate
nature. Anyone might have supposed that she was thinking of the Germans
who had killed one brother, and held another prisoner since Charleroi.
Could she have been induced to express herself, she might have said,
from mere habit of convention, that she meant the Germans. But it was
deeper than that, so deep as to be almost impersonal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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