He faced her again. "Miss Ross, I felt last night a sudden desire to
help you. I believed I had the power to help you--I don't know
why--I'm not a healer." He smiled for the first time. "But I felt
perfectly sure I could do you good. I feel that way now. I never had
such a feeling toward any person before. It is just as strange to me
as it is to you."
She was looking at him now with musing eyes.
"That is the curious part of it," she said. "It doesn't seem strange
at all. It seems as if I had been wanting to hear your voice--as if I
had known of you all my life----" She tried to suppress her coughing,
and he was in agony during the paroxysm. The nurse came hurrying out,
and while he waited at one side Clement felt that if he could have
taken her by the hands he could have prevented it. It was a singular
conviction, but it was most definite, and had a peculiar air of
actuality.
When she lay quiet he approached again and said: "I'll go now. I must
not tire you. But remember, I'm going to come and see you, and I'm
going to do you good. Every time I see you I am going to will to you
some of my vitality--my love of life. For I love life--it is beautiful
to live."
She gave him her hand, and he bowed and left her.
She lay quietly after he went away and smiled, a little, wan smile,
which made her pallor the more pitiful. It was all so romantic and
wonderful--this big man's coming. He was so unspoiled and so direct of
manner. She had the hope he would come again, and it seemed not
impossible that he might help her, his voice was so stirring and his
hands so big and strong.
Yet she was beyond the reach of even the conjectures of passion. She
had come to a certain exterior resignation to her fate. The world had
lost its poignant interest--it was now a pageant upon which she was
looking for the last time, yet she was too tired, too indifferent to
lift her hand to stay it in its course even had it been within her
power.
At times, however, she rebelled at her fate. There were hours, even
yet, when she lay alone in her bed hearing her father's regular
stertorous breathing till a great wave of longing to live swept upon
her, and she was forced to turn her face to her pillow to stifle her
mingled coughing and sobbing.
"Oh, Father, let me live! I want to live like other women. Oh, dear
Father, grant me a little life!"
These waves of passionate rebellion left her weaker, sadder, more
indifferent than ever, and as coldly pallid almost as if death had
already claimed her.
On the night following Clement's talk with her she fell asleep while
musing upon one mind's influence upon another. Perhaps if she could
only believe she might be helped; perhaps he was sent to help her. It
had been long since such a personality had stood before her--indeed,
no such man had ever touched her hand or looked into her eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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