But almost before she knew it she was on the opposite side, scrambling
up the stones to the grassy slope beyond, and so, panting and hurrying,
to the top of the sea-wall. She saw at once that there was nobody in
the house, that it was still with the growing stillness of augmented
hours, and a further chill fell on her happy mood. Yet she was glad at
least to be there to welcome the old folks when they came, and in any
case they could not be very far. Every jolt of the trap must be
bringing them nearer to the net which she was spreading so lovingly for
their feet. They would be tired, of course, and probably very cross,
but May was used to market-day moods and would not care. With
affectionate ruthlessness she told herself that would yield to her all
the sooner for being tired. Presently they would agree unwillingly that
she might have her way, and then she would hurry home again as if on
wings. They would be crosser than ever after she had gone, vexed both
with her and themselves and terribly touched in their pride. And then,
slowly but surely, the hope that she had forced upon them would begin to
race its stimulant through their veins. They would lie down to sleep
with a secret gladness that they had not the courage to confess, and
would wake in the morning and know that the world had been made for them
anew.
She kept stopping the rush of her thoughts to send her senses over the
marsh, but no sign of life came back to her, or sound of wheel or hoof.
The wide stretches of grass and plough and the long length of road
seemed almost as unsuggestive of human influence as the sands
themselves. Swifter and swifter faded the passionate confidence which
had sent her out, leaving the risks of the matter uppermost in her mind.
She remembered that it was possible to be patient all one’s life, and
yet to wreck the fruits of it in an unguarded hour. This sudden mental
and physical rashness might be symbolical of a greater rashness of the
soul. Perhaps after to-night all her footholds and anchorages might go,
leaving the world that she had managed so bravely only a nightmare
blurred by tears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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