She was tired with that terrible tiredness which sees the day behind
like a series of folding cardboard views. She seemed to have lived many
days in that single day, with never a moment between them to fit her for
the next. More than once, indeed, she had been ready to collapse, but
always the stimulus of some fresh event had set her going again. Now she
had reached the point when she was too tired to allow herself to be
tired, when body and mind, usually careful to save the next day’s
strength, recklessly lay both hands upon their all.
Even at the last moment had come the sudden struggle with May, and the
zest of that strife still tingled in her veins. After that long day of
damaged pride it was pleasant to have asserted it in the end, to have
claimed the right to suffer rather than be forcibly blessed. All day
she had tasted in prospect the salt savour of another’s bread, but here
was something that she could refuse. She was still too stiff with fight
to care that she had wounded a generous nature in the act. It was true
that she could not have borne the sight of a Geordie who would have
brought her fresh disgrace. The love that cares for the broken more
than the sound could not thrive while she feared the sneer of the idol
to whom she would not bow.
Beyond, in the dairy, there came the sound of metalled boots, and the
pails spoke musically on the flags as Simon set them down. She heard
him shuffling across to open the inner door, and then--"Milk’s in,
missis!" he called to her, as his head came through.
There was a nervous sound in his voice, at which Sarah almost smiled,
knowing that his conscience must be ill at ease. She answered "Oh, ay,"
without turning, for she was busy with the fire, which, as if hating the
atmosphere into which it was born, was doing its best to escape from it
again.
"I’ll see to the fire for you, missis," he said, crossing to her side.
"Set you down and be easy a bit. You’re likely tired."
"Nay, I’ll manage all right," she protested stolidly, and then suddenly
yielded to him, and moved away. She did not sit down, however, but
remained standing on the hearth, while he went on his knees to set the
bellows between the bars.
"May give me a fair start," he observed presently, when the flame had
consented to grow. "What was she after, coming off like that?"
"Nay, it was nowt much," Sarah said easily, in an indifferent tone. "It
was nobbut some daftness she’d got in her head, that’s all."
"She mun ha’ been rarely keen to come across so late. Was it summat or
other she wanted you to do?"
"Ay," Sarah said firmly, "but I couldn’t see my way. I tellt her so
this morning when I see her in town."
"Summat about your eyes, likely?" he enquired nervously, blowing hard.
"Losh save us, no! It was nowt to do wi’ that."
"Will was rarely put out when I tellt him what doctor had said," Simon
went on. "He was right sorry, he was, and real anxious to do what he
could."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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