It was two o’clock and after before the old folks left Witham. Simon
had gone to his dinner on quitting the agent, and at his favourite
eating-house he encountered others who wanted the hearse-story at first
hand. He was not at all averse to talking about it by now, and after a
good dinner it improved with the telling every time. Once more he
forgot the interview of the morning as well as the coming one in the
afternoon, and stayed smoking and talking and sunning himself in the
fine atmosphere of success.
Sarah, however, had neither pipe nor admiring circle to soothe or
enliven the heavy, dragging hours. She went into the inn after the
’Ship’ dog-cart had rattled off, and tried to gather a little comfort
from the parlour fire; but the glamour of the morning had departed with
May, and now that she was alone she felt depressed and tired. The
doctor’s verdict, which had passed her by at the time, rushed back upon
her, shaking her nerves and chilling her heart. She began to wonder
what it would be like to be really blind, and in a sudden panic she made
a strained attempt to discern the pictures and almanacks in the room,
tracing the patterns of the antimacassars with a shaking finger, and the
shapes of the chair-backs and table-legs. When she was really blind,
Simon would have to do for her instead of her doing for him, but he
would only make a poorish job of it, she felt sure. There would still
be plenty for both of them to do, in spite of the fact that ’things had
come to an end.’ There were the long winter months to be got through
before they left, as well as the work and worry of changing house. May
would help her, no doubt; she could always count on May; but she knew
that she did not want to owe her more than she could help. It was
partly a new uprising of dead jealousy, of course, as well as pride
refusing dependence upon one who did not belong. But at the back of all
there was a more just and generous motive than either of these,--the
consciousness that May had given too much already, and should not be
called upon for more. Months ahead though it lay, she began presently to
think a woman’s thoughts about the breaking-up of the home. Little as
they possessed of any value in itself, there would be many things, she
knew, that they would want to keep. There were certain things,
expensive to renew, which still had a flicker of useful life, and
others, useless to others as well as themselves, which were yet bone of
their bone and flesh of their ancient flesh. She began to make a list
in her head, and to value the furniture as well as she knew how. She
had been to many a sale in her time, and had a sufficiently good memory
of what the things had fetched, as well as of whose house had eventually
raked them in. She saw Sandholes full of peering and poking folk, a
chattering crowd stretching into the garden and yard, and forming a
black procession along the roads of the marsh. She saw traps and heavy
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