She had that one moment of clear beauty unprofaned by hate, with
Geordie’s face swimming before her in a golden haze. Then her hand,
going out to the silk and linen of the dream, encountered the darned and
threadbare serge of dreary fact. The dream rent violently all around
her, letting her out again into the unlovely world. Even her blindness
had been forgotten for the time, for in the dream she was never blind.
Now the touch of the darns under her hand brought back the long hours of
mending by candlelight which had had their share in despoiling her of
her sight. She would never be able to darn by candlelight again, and
the loss of that drudgery seemed to her now an added grief, because into
this and all similar work, as women know, goes the hope of the future to
emerge again as the soul of the past.... Sarah knew that her hand would
ache for her needle as the sailor’s hand aches for the helm, or the
crippled horseman’s for the feel of the flat rein. She felt, too, a
sudden desperate anger against the woman who would have the mending of
Simon’s clothes. Geordie’s, she knew, she would simply have wrenched
from any stranger’s hands, but since there was no Geordie she need not
think of that. The Dream had been merely the make-believe of the
bitterly oppressed, who had taken to desperate lying as a last resort.
Yet still the sweetness lingered, keeping her serene, like the last
scent of a passed garden or the last light upon darkening hills.
She smoothed her hands on the arms of the precious chair, and reached
out and smoothed the satin of the table. Through the dimness the solid
piano loomed, the rosewood coffin of a thousand songs. The carpet under
her feet felt elastic yet softly deep. There were ornaments in the
room, good stuff as well as trash, trifles pointing the passions of
Eliza’s curious soul. But for once, after all these years, Eliza’s soul
would be sorrowful in spite of her great possessions. Back in the
kitchen she would be gritting her teeth on the fact that it was Sarah’s
son who was coming home, coming with money to burn and a great and
splendid will to burn it. She would exact payment, of course, when the
truth was known, but even the last ounce of payment could not give her
back this hour. For this hour, at least, it was hers to suffer and
Sarah’s to reign. For this hour, at least, the heavily-weighted tables
of destiny were turned.
VI
That which had been the terrible Eliza sat still for a long moment after
Sarah had gone out. There was silence about the table until Elliman
Wilkinson took upon himself to speak.
"But Jim’s never your son, Cousin Eliza?" he exclaimed, puzzled, rushing
in where not only angels would have feared to tread, but where the
opposite host also would have taken care to keep their distance. "It’s
very stupid of me, of course, but I’ve always made sure that
Geordie-an’-Jim were twins."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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