Country homes -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction
Shame, pity, resentment oppressed her in turn; in the
last of these feelings the others were quickly submerged. Mrs. Gereth
had imprisoned her in that torment of taste; but it was clear to her for
an hour at least that she might hate Mrs. Gereth.
Something else, however, when morning came, was even more intensely
definite: the most odious thing in the world for her would be ever again
to meet Owen. She took on the spot a resolve to neglect no precaution
that could lead to her going through life without that accident. After
this, while she dressed, she took still another. Her position had
become, in a few hours, intolerably false; in as few more hours as
possible she would therefore put an end to it. The way to put an end to
it would be to inform Mrs. Gereth that, to her great regret, she
couldn't be with her now, couldn't cleave to her to the point that
everything about her so plainly urged. She dressed with a sort of
violence, a symbol of the manner in which this purpose was precipitated.
The more they parted company the less likely she was to come across
Owen; for Owen would be drawn closer to his mother now by the very
necessity of bringing her down. Fleda, in the inconsequence of distress,
wished to have nothing to do with her fall; she had had too much to do
with everything. She was well aware of the importance, before breakfast
and in view of any light they might shed on the question of motive, of
not suffering her invidious expression of a difference to be accompanied
by the traces of tears; but it none the less came to pass, downstairs,
that after she had subtly put her back to the window, to make a mystery
of the state of her eyes, she stupidly let a rich sob escape her before
she could properly meet the consequences of being asked if she wasn't
delighted with her room. This accident struck her on the spot as so
grave that she felt the only refuge to be instant hypocrisy, some
graceful impulse that would charge her emotion to the quickened sense of
her friend's generosity--a demonstration entailing a flutter round the
table and a renewed embrace, and not so successfully improvised but that
Fleda fancied Mrs. Gereth to have been only half reassured. She had been
startled, at any rate, and she might remain suspicious: this reflection
interposed by the time, after breakfast, the girl had recovered
sufficiently to say what was in her heart. She accordingly didn't say it
that morning at all: she had absurdly veered about; she had encountered
the shock of the fear that Mrs. Gereth, with sharpened eyes, might
wonder why the deuce (she often wondered in that phrase) she had grown
so warm about Owen's rights. She would doubtless, at a pinch, be able to
defend them on abstract grounds, but that would involve a discussion,
and the idea of a discussion made her nervous for her secret. Until in
some way Poynton should return the blow and give her a cue, she must
keep nervousness down; and she called herself a fool for having
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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