And at last it was found out who done it and it was Mr. Grandaddy Prows
that done it and they had an awful scene and the old gentleman wept
tears and he said that he hadn’t meant no harm but he only thought
that the plain people would want to know all about the homelife of
their great Man and would like to read about His camelephant just as
they liked to read about the Spokeslady’s pet dog and how the family
automobile had been held up a whole minute after the Spokesman had got
into it while the Spokeslady was coaxing Her dog to get in.
And the Spokesman said it was not the same at all because when He was
in the automobile with His wife and Her dog He had something more than
His pajamas on, and so it was proper for the public to think about
Him then. He said that Grandaddy Prows had proved himself without
discretion and that his usefulness to the Spokesman was ended and
the poor old gentleman went off with his heart broken and now it is
announced that him and his wife is starting on a European tour that he
is doing some highly secret diplomatical errands for the Spokesman.
And of course that is very sad and I am upset too because Mr. Edgerton
says he cannot get the Spokesman to think about international affairs
at all no more. The reason for the worry he says is that the Spokesman
got into this great office by accident and He knows that He is wearing
shoes that is many times too big for Him and He is scared to death that
some day the people may get onto the real size of His feet. And I says,
“Oh that explains it then because I could not see why He was so afraid
of being saw in His pajamas. Because after all I have saw lots of
pictures of screen actors in their pajamas and I have thought they was
lovely. And when you see the pictures of defendants and corespondents
and other people in divorce actions they do not look so bad at all in
pajamas,” I says.
Well the big white house is a mean place to live right now Mr. Edgerton
says with everybody in the dumps or scared and anybody can get rich
quick that can find out a way to get the American people to talk about
any other animal in the zoo but the camelephant. I says, “Mr. Edgerton,
it’s not that I want money,” I says, “because I am willing to serve my
country for the love of it and I think it had ought to be possible for
the Spokesman to do His great work without being bothered,” I says, “so
let’s you and me figure out a way to get the people to appreciate and
love Him again.”
So then he looks relieved because he has come to have great confidence
in me because the training I got in the gas-house district of Camden
New Jersey has been better for this job than what he got when he was in
college. So he says, “All right Miss Riggs let us do it. What do you
suggest?”
And I says, “Any good woman would of been able to of told you. The
Spokesman has got virtues that the plain people love and what we have
got to do is to pick out one of them and get the people to think about
that.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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