But often on my pillow, when darkness was my ward, I heard the muffled numbers of distant harpsichord! I heard a plaintive ballad, to measured cadence set, Of long ago, that sounded for lordly minuet! In wierdly notes it fluttered and lingered on the wing, With wailing for the duel! the sigh! and broken string! * * * * * But once when I was taking a smoking circumflex, Around the Burton Crescent, and just at its apex, I heard a voice behind me, that put me on some toast, "Look! there's the man, that's living with Madame Stiffin's Ghost!" I turned, and in the lamplight, distinctly I could see, A woman's dexter finger, was indicating me! "He's living as a lodger, above the second floor Of yonder house, that's haunted, with double-knockered door, Look! isn't he a cough-drop? it's only such a scare, Would live in such a lodging, with Madam Stiffin there!" I never felt so worried at anything before! Could scarcely find the keyhole of double-knockered door, And up the stairs I tottered, as in a walking trance, Next morning, she'd be coming for payment in advance, Next morning, at the striking of twelve upon the clock, I started from my slumber, it was her double knock! I jumped up at the summons, and leaping out of bed, I answered, and she entered, and unto her I said, "I'm here thro' false pretences; _I understand you're dead_!" [Illustration] A peal of mocking laughter, the little Watteau shook, And with her arms akimbo, an attitude she struck, She made an accusation of drink, and with a glance Of keen reproach, demanded, her payment in advance! I had already promised myself, that none should boast, Of knowing me in future, as tenant of a ghost, So got my cash, pretending to settle there, and then, And just as she was lifting my eagle pointed pen, Said I "Perhaps you'll give me receipt for also this?" With that I would have tested her presence with a kiss! I think my arm went thro' her, of that I can't be sure, But with the table circuit, she took the bedroom door, I took it quite as quick, and abreviated sight, I caught of her next landing, and on her hasty flight, From lobby down to lobby I chased her like a hare, I tracked her to the kitchen, but lo! she wasn't there! I flew into the area, back up the stairs I flew, In drawing-room and parlour, in every bedroom too, To overtake and seize her, with skidding foot I sped, And under every sofa, and under every bed, I searched,--it was a marvel!--exploited every flue, Unlocked a couple of wardrobes and looked them thro' and thro', Until in all its horror, the grim conviction grew, I had in fact been lodging unconscious with a spook! I rushed to get my waistcoat, pants, traps, and took my hook! [Illustration]