Thus tho' we may not take the law, Into our hands, it's often meet, To serve extemporaneous writ By sharp eviction, from the feet. [Illustration] [Illustration: HEADS AND TAILS] TWAS in the Daisy Bell, I met him, quite a swell, His style, was very taking, and off hand, "No thanks!" said he "I think We'll toss up, for the drink, I'm independent, as there's in the land!" I tossed him, and I lost, Said he "That was a frost, I'll toss you now, a consolation toss, I'll toss you, for a bob" I lost! "I wouldn't rob" Said he "I wouldn't see you, at a loss. "By gum! here's what I'll do, I'll toss you now for two, It's double now, or quits, that we will try," Again I lost; 'twas queer, Again, said he, "look here, Your fortune, will be lifting by and by." I thought that it must turn, But soon I had to learn, His way was rather taking, and off hand, A goodly sum was due, Said he "I've made off you, Six quid, and sixteen tanners, you will stand," "Your double coin," said I, "Has just now caught my eye, And the dust, from your jacket, I must whack!" His jacket, with malacca, I did crack! His hide, was very taking, at the back! [Illustration: The Colonel and the Cook] OH COLONEL I could love you, With faithful heart," said she; "But you are far too noble-- Too grand a man for me, For you're Commander of the Horse, And hardly could be higher, While, I am only just a Cook, Around the kitchen fire." Said she "I could not marry you, For you are all so grand; I'd be a most unhappy wife-- The saddest in the land." Said he, "I did not ask you; But when I'm far from you, And on the field of battle, I'll see what I can do." Said he, "I never thought of it, And only now, I see-- Perhaps you are the woman, Would suit to wed with me, And that is just the cause of them-- The words, I said to you-- When on the field of battle, I'll see what I can do." [Illustration] The town, was all in tumult Of women's wail alack! For many a gallant soldier, Would never more come back, And even he (the Colonel) Might fall--the first or last; And that's the chiefest reason, That Cook was weeping fast.