A MOST attractive lady, of middle class degree, When in the Ranelagh Gardens, was thus addressed, as she Beheld a man, she jilted, "Theresa Mary Jane, You didn't think to see me back in town, so soon again; It's most exasperating, that when my back I turn You pace the Ranelagh Gardens, with cotton-ball O'Byrne." The linen draper started, and with indignant shout, Said he, "She loves me only, you ferule-fingered lout, Your time you're only wasting, so take a thought, and spurn, The idle hopes, that lure ye," said Mister Pat O'Byrne. Just then up came a stranger, with bending courtesy, He doffed his triple tilted, "Good-night, mam'selle," said he, Then turning to O'Gorman, and then, to Pat O'Byrne, "Ze manners of ze shentlemans, ze both of you should learn; To wrangle round ze lady, I'm shames of you, by dam! If ye don't know ze fencin' of ze duel, go, and cram, Don't bring ze crowds around her, but mit ze mornin' lark, Vash out in blood, ze quarrels all in ze Phoenix Park." "I'm on," said Kit O'Gorman. "Begor, an' so am I," Said Pat O'Byrne. The lady, then gave a tender sigh, She told them each, she loved him, and though her heart did bleed, Expressed a wish, he'd combat on a small Arabian steed. "The duel's getting prosy, invest it with a fling Of tournamental glory, you'll find it's now the thing, To gild, with knightly glamour, your daring feat of strife, And he who kills the other, I'll be his wedded wife; Till then I'm Queen of beauty," so spake that lady fair, "I give you both a fortnight, that each may well prepare, And then I'll send you chargers, on which to combat so" (Her father dealt in horses), "now, sirs, good-night, and go." The fix was fraught with danger, for each of those two men, Existence is too precious, man can't be born again; They ne'er had used a weapon, they never strode a horse, It was extremely awkward, and couldn't well be worse. So while O'Gorman practised with foil, and mask. O'Byrne, Was in a circus riding, and then he took his turn, Before a fencing-master, to guard, and thrust, and fool, While Pat O'Gorman, cantered around a riding school. At length the fencing-master, he says to Pat O'Byrne, "You're perfect mit ze fencing, you've nodings more to learn." The man who taught him riding, did compliment him too, And Kit O'Gorman also had "nodings" more to do. * * * * *