But while the Captain, Pat O'Toole, was coastin' round, an' dhroppin' men, An' elephants, an' butterflies, behind him in his thrack, The ark with Noah, and his wife, an' childer, sthruck on Ararat, An' sprung a leak, an' all at once, became a total wrack! Whin Noah got his specks, an' saw by manes of different telegrams, How Pat O'Toole had been at work, his heart within him sunk, Siz he unto his Familee, "Let one of you's, sit up for me," Thin slipped around the corner, and he dhrank till he got dhrunk. But Pat O'Toole, he always kep' the pledge, he took before the flood, He lived for eighteen hundred years, a blameless sort of life, And whin he died, the Hill of Howth was built up for his monument, And Ireland's eye was modelled out, in memory of his wife. [Illustration] [Illustration: SONNET ON SHARES.] TO fill his glass as host, Was honour I did boast, And he spake to me one day, with a smile, "You wish to make a mark, Then to my counsel hark, In the Co., for which I'm chairman, put your pile." He was noble, he was good, Of the upper ten, his blood Æsthetic tint of azure, all the while, A tone to conjure with,--I put my pile. The shares went down, O my! Was not a fool to buy; If I had been a savage on the Nile, I needn't pen this sonnet, with a sigh! [Illustration: The Lucky Sixpence] YOU can't exist on nothing, when launched in wedded life-- So a lucky battered sixpence, was all I gave my wife, And said to her one morning, "When another vessel starts I'll scoot, and make my fortune, in romantic foreign parts." And so I went and scooted, but how the thing was done, Was not like any pic-nic, or passage made for fun. We had hardly left the Channel, and were in the offing yet, When the steward heard me snoring in the quiet lazarette. [Illustration: I found a Purse] It wasn't quite successful--the voyage--after this, And when we got out foreign, I didn't land in bliss. I worked my passage over, but the captain wasn't kind, And all I got for wages, was a compliment behind! And thus I was a failure, my later life was worse, When twenty years were over, at last I found a purse. It made me sad, and homesick, and tired of foreign life, "I'll start," says I, "for Europe, and try and find my wife." I sought her when I landed, but everything was changed, And high and low I wandered, and far and near I ranged; I put her full description in several ads.--at last My flag of hope that fluttered, came half-way down the mast. I went, and I enlisted all in the bluecoat ranks; And took to promenading along the Liffey banks. I made a measured survey of curbstones in the squares, And prowled behind the corners, for pouncing unawares.