Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Charlie Kirschner and PG Distributed Proofreaders THE SPREAD EAGLE AND OTHER STORIES BY GOUVERNEUR MORRIS AUTHOR OF "THE FOOTPRINT, AND OTHER STORIES," ETC. 1910 _TO ELSIE, PATSIE, AND KATE_ _I had thought to sit in the ruler's chair, But three pretty girls are sitting there-- Elsie, Patsie, and Kate. I had thought to lord it with eyes of gray, I had thought to be master, and have_ my _way; But six blue eyes vote_: nay, nay, nay! _Elsie, Patsie, and Kate. Of Petticoats three I am sore afraid, (Though Kate's is more like a candle-shade), Elsie, Patsie, and Kate. And I must confess (with shame) to you That time there was when Petticoats two Were enough to govern me through and through, Elsie, Patsie, and Kate. Oh Patsie, third of a bullying crew, And Elsie, and Kate, be it known to you-- To Elsie, Patsie, and Kate, That Elsie_ alone _was strong enough To smother a motion, or call a bluff, Or any small pitiful atom thereof-- Elsie, Patsie, and Kate. So, though I've renounced that ruler's part To which I was born (as is writ in my heart), Elsie, Patsie, and Kate, Though I do what I'm told (yes, you_ know _I do) And am made to write stories (and sell them, too). Still--I wish to God I had more like you, Elsie, Patsie, and Kate_. BAR HARBOR, _August_, 1910. AUTHOR'S NOTE Certain persons have told me (for nothing) that "White Muscats of Alexandria" resembles a tale in the Arabian Nights. And so it does. Most damningly. And this is printed in the hope of saving other persons postage. CONTENTS _The Spread Eagle Targets The Boot The Despoiler One More Martyr "Ma'am?" Mr. Holiday White Muscats of Alexandria Without a Lawyer The "Monitor" and the "Merrimac" The McTavish The Parrot On the Spot; or, The Idler's House-Party_ THE SPREAD EAGLE