The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The Squire: An Original Comedy in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
{Gil.} Folks will have to laugh at me, Squire, if
they are to get a laugh out of me, to-morrow, _(he
takes a few rusty keys and some small dog-eared
books from his pocket, and places them on table
before Kate)_ Here are the keys--the Red Barn, the
barn below Fenning's field, the store house. The
key of the oats house--_(Kate puts key and money
in key basket)_--Gunnion's got. _(puts books on table)_
There's my account--it's poor book-keeping, Squire,
but plain. Will you cast your eye over it?
{Kate.} _(shaking her head)_ No!
{Gil.} Thank you, Squire, _(places a little bag of
money before her)_ John Buckle's rent, and Mrs.
Tester's arrears--less some job wages paid by me
since Saturday. And that's all.
{Kate.} Thank you Gilbert.
{Gil.} And now, Squire, I can't say good-bye to
you in two words. Will you hear what I've to say?
{Kate.} Certainly, Gilbert, _(gives book to Felicity)_
_(Gil. looks at Fel. and at Chris, and learn over
the back of Kate's chair.)_
{Gil.} _(in an undertone to Kate)_ Can't it be
between us two, Squire?
{Kate.} No!
{Gil.} _(aside in Kate's ear)_ Kate, I'm almost a
desperate man. Take care how you treat me to-night.
{Kate.} _(without moving, aside to Gil.)_ How
dare you speak to me like that?
{Gil.} _(aside to Kate)_ Reason before you let your
good friends slip from you. I'll give you a chance
to consider what you are doing, _(turns up to bureau
--aloud)_ Squire, I want to scribble a few words
to you. _(pointing to bureau)_ May I write here?
{Kate.} If you please.
_(Gil. sits at bureau and writes quickly.)_
_(fretfully)_ What are all these, Felicity?
{Fel.} _(opening book and reading)_ "Gilbert
Hythe's cures for cows." Shall I read 'em, Squire?
{Kate.} Oh no.
{Fel.} _(from another book)_ "Poor mother's receipt
for brewing herb beer. Note: but nobody can
brew it like poor mother could."
{Kate.} _(takes the book from Fel. and reads--
aside to Fel.)_ Gilbert's mother was my nurse, _(takes
book from Fel.--looking over her shoulder at Gil.,
who is writing)_ Poor fellow!
{Fel.} _(opens another book)_ "An account of Joe
Skilliter's pig, who could say 'Yes' and 'No,' by
moving his ears. Note: When Joe's pig was killed it
was tough eating. Another argument against the
spread of education."
{Gil.} _(rises and comes down to table. He places
a note before Kate)_ The few words, Squire, _(she
takes the note)_ Ah! don't read 'em till I've gone.
_(Kate replaces the note with a shrug of the shoulders.
Christie rises--to Fel.)_ Good-bye, little
woman.
{Fel.} _(rises with a curtesy)_ Good-bye to ye, Mr.
Hythe. _(sits again)_
_(Gil. is going.)_
{Kate.} _(holds out her hand)_ Good-night, Gilbert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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