Great Britain -- History -- George IV, 1820-1830 -- Fiction; Love stories; Widows -- Fiction
“Why do you seek me? Could you not be content to have brought into my
peace—God knows how hardly won!—this disturbance, this trouble, this
disillusion? Have you not shown me once again that no woman, however
kind, can be true; however fair but must be false; however
straight-limbed, but must be tortuous of mind; however sweet to draw a
man to her but must be black at heart! Is not that enough? I had gone
back to my stars, back to all they mean to me; they had called me from
among that ignoble crew where you—oh, incredible! seem to have found
yourself so well! I had gone back to them, to their serenity, to their
high communion.... Why did you call me down? Take your false troubling
beauty from this my own peace ground!”
“But David! But, dear cousin, what insanity is this?”
“No,” he cried, with outflung hands beating back the sudden tender
relaxation in her voice, the loosening movement of her folded arms under
their mantle. “No,” he repeated loudly and harshly. “Once deceived where
I most loved! Again deceived where I most trusted! Deceived again where
nature, common blood, and family honour, should have most bound to
faithfulness—it is enough! I have done with life. I will never again
risk my hard-won peace of mind—life’s most precious possession—upon the
frail stake of another’s loyalty. I have no friend, I have no sister.
Ellinor, I will love no woman!”
His loud voice suddenly sank; and towards the last sentences, with a
falling of her high spirit of anger, she saw him resume the old
unnatural look, the old passionless tone of detachment and renunciation.
The phrase with which he concluded rang in her ears more like a knell of
all her secret hopes than the conventional offence.
“Oh,” said she, and the clear sweet note was shot through with a tremor
of pain, “neither friend nor kin nor love? It is a hard sentence, David!
Is it not as bad to mistrust truth as to break troth?”
But though her words were gentle she felt herself more aloof as she
spoke than at any moment of their interview. Their two souls were
drawing away from each other in the storm as the same wind and the same
waves may part consorting vessels.
She moved, as to leave him, when he arrested her.
“You know the story of my life,” said he. “Stay, Ellinor, the night is
mild.”
He put out his hand; but hesitated, and did not touch her. The frenzy of
passion had left him, with that sudden change of mood that marks the
fevered brain. She sat down on the parapet without a word. The night was
mild, as he had said; yet, even under her improvised mantle she was
cold—cold to the soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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