Humorous stories; Politicians -- United States -- Fiction
"Then in sheer self-defense I ordered beer, then more beer, then
cocktails, then I don't know what--Pearl asked the waiter to bring it--a
queer greenish-yellow stuff which quickly overpowered me. When the vile
mixture had gotten in its handiwork the Jewels seemed highly satisfied,
and laughed gleefully. A few moments later I was introduced to a
'gentleman friend' of theirs whom they fished out of the crowd. He was a
flashily dressed youth who insisted upon another drink--and another--at
my expense. After that I have a faint recollection of getting off the
boat upon its return to Washington, and of being hustled into a
night-liner, the Jewels and their pal nobly standing by me. We jogged
along for miles, Ruby singing at the top of her voice and the gentleman
friend joining in at the chorus. Pearl's head was bent over, wobbly
fashion. She was either asleep, or lost in deep thought. I have also a
dim recollection of the vehicle coming to an abrupt halt, and a head
thrust in at the window, saying pointedly that if we did not make less
noise he would run the whole blanketty-blank gang in. This made me mad,
and I wanted to fight the stranger then and there; but my warlike
purpose was frustrated by the Jewels and their friend, who flung
themselves upon me, wisely detaining me. The end of our journey was
reached soon afterwards and our little party rolled out.
"I was then dragged up an apparently endless flight of steps, and into
the vestibule of a large old-fashioned house, once the stately residence
of a famous man, but now given over to the undesirable class of persons
into whose clutches I had fallen. An aged negress tugged at an immense
paneled door, and let us into a wide hall, at the end of which a lamp
burned feebly. Then we struggled up more stairs, and after many turnings
drew up before a shabbily furnished room. Into this I was rudely pushed,
and the door closed and locked upon me. I rocked about in the darkness,
grabbed the bed as it swung around for the third time, got a strangle
hold, and went right to sleep. From this I was awakened some hours later
by voices in the hall just outside. The transom over the door was open,
so I could hear pretty well all that was said.
"'That's a good sort of haul you made to-night--nit!' growled a deep
bass. 'Ain't you afraid you'll get into trouble? That fellow in there is
Colonel Manysnifters. You've all heard of him--haven't yer? Why, he is
the biggest man in the House--a great swell--money to throw at the
birds; and he's been a throwin' it, hey?' said he of the voice, with a
chuckle; 'but he ain't no greenhorn, I can tell yer! The old sport can
make it powerful warm for us when he gets out of here!'
"'Suppose he never gets out--not for a long time, anyway; and the
ransom--just think of the ransom!' joyously urged one of the Jewels,
whose voice I recognized.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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