Humorous stories; Politicians -- United States -- Fiction
"'Well, my love,' said she, 'of course we must give up everything here,
and that will be a little trying for a while, I'll admit, but we should
be thankful that you are not thrown out altogether,' adding with a tinge
of melancholy, 'I don't think, though, that I could bear to live in
Washington after the change. Suppose we try A---- for a while.'
"A---- is over in Maryland, about six miles from town, and very
convenient trains are run between the two places. One can live quite
comfortably there for very little, so my wife's suggestion was quickly
adopted.
"'It reminds me of dear, dear Salem,' she said some weeks later, 'and
rents are so cheap. Think of the ridiculously small price we pay for
this house.'
"'Suspiciously small, you mean,' said I gloomily, not at all reconciled
to my wife's choice of abode. But as my feeble protest was treated with
silence I held my peace. 'Anything for a quiet life' has ever been a
favorite conceit with me.
"Mrs. Ploat had taken an old-fashioned house in Queen Anne Street, large
enough for a family of twenty persons. Now, as my household consisted of
only my wife, her unmarried sister, and myself, I could not understand
what was wanted with such capacious quarters. But I had no say in the
matter. My wife fancied the house, it seemed to me, on account of its
colonial air, wide halls, huge high-ceilinged rooms, and general lack of
modern improvements.
"I never liked the house in Queen Anne Street, though this aversion was
apparently unreasonable, for we were cosy enough after the throes of
moving in and settling down were over. But it struck me from the start
that there was something decidedly uncanny about the place, and a vague
feeling of uneasiness became very keenly defined in me whenever I heard
the creaking of the stairs.
"The stairs throughout the house had an infernal habit of creaking--one
after another--as if somebody was coming up or down. At first I thought
it was the rats that infested the old mansion in legions; but I
abandoned this idea after a few experiments which proved conclusively
that the creaking sounds could only be made by a person or thing quite
as heavy, if not heavier, than myself--then tipping the beam at one
hundred and eighty pounds.
"In the course of time I became personally acquainted with each stair in
the Queen Anne Street house, and especially with those in the main
flight. Business, or pleasure, often compelled me to keep late hours,
and on such occasions, on arriving home, I would naturally try to reach
my room as quietly as possible. With my shoes in my hand, and by a
series of agile leaps from one less noisy stair to another, I usually
succeeded in attaining the upper part of the house without much
disturbance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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