"Under a 1978 law, every corporation offering stock on the Exchange must publish its preference function. All these preference functions are known to your Statistomat; in effect, it is as if they were all in Statistomat's memory, continuously updated, automatically. Naturally, for a particular kind of investor only certain kinds of stock are suitable. "But Statistomat does more--and this is the point I think you'll find intensely interesting. After all, more than the firm's policy is important. Two firms may have identical financial policies but very different dividend rates, either due to different degrees of success or to different kinds of partial success. Statistomat also has available to it a sound estimate of the firm's expectations--" "Who does the--uh--estimating?" "Based entirely on Commerce Department reports. That's as impartial as you can get, Mr. Borch, and it's also one of the best-informed sources in the country. This information is processed at our home office on one of the largest automatic computers in the world. You see, Statistomat Incorporated is deeply conscious of its responsibility to give flawless service to the men who control and direct America's fortunes." * * * * * The little salesman sounded overconfident again so I thought I'd shake him up. "What does General Computers use for their whatchamacallit?" "The General Computers' Incomac uses exactly the same sources of information." I said in a bored voice, "What do you do different?" "The principles of investment planning are scientific principles, Mr. Borch, and anybody working in this field must follow them." Let's hear you desperate, I thought, but my voice just got drier. "Guess I might as well get an--" "Of course there are differences!" "Uh--yeah?" "Oh, yes, yes! You see, even though the principles are the same, still if only one company was offering this service to investors--" "Then what? It'd jack up the prices?" But that was over-eager. He backed away immediately: "Certainly not, Mr. Borch. Who could suggest such a thing? We all know General Computers' spotless reputation as one of the most heavily capitalized corporations in the country. Besides, by now we should be free of wild brain-truster theories about the evils of monopoly." He smiled sanctimoniously. I drawled, "So what if only one company was selling these machines?" My brother would be grinding his teeth at this follow-up. But I thought I just about had this salesman boxed. I'd better! He was catching on.