His return to consciousness was a slow and painful process. It was a
journey in which he traversed all time. He dreamed. He rose through
thick layers of sleep, out of the imaginary beginnings of all things. He
lifted a pseudopod from primordial ooze, and the pseudopod was _him_. He
became an amoeba which contained _his_ essence; then a fish marked with
his own peculiar individuality; then an ape unlike all other apes. And
finally, he became a man.
What kind of man? Dimly he saw himself, faceless, a beamer gripped tight
on one hand, a corpse at his feet. _That_ kind of man.
He awoke, rubbed his eyes, and waited for further memories to come.
No memories came. Not even his name.
He sat up hastily and willed memory to return. When it didn't, he looked
around, seeking in his surroundings some clue to his identity.
He was sitting on a bed in a small gray room. There was a closed door
on one side. On the other, through a curtained alcove, he could see a
tiny lavatory. Light came into the room from some hidden source, perhaps
from the ceiling itself. The room had a bed and a single chair, and
nothing else.
He held his chin in his hand and closed his eyes. He tried to catalogue
all his knowledge, and the implications of that knowledge. He knew that
he was a man, species Homo sapiens, an inhabitant of the planet Earth.
He spoke a language which he knew was English. (Did that mean that there
were other languages?) He knew the commonplace names for things: room,
light, chair. He possessed in addition a limited amount of general
knowledge. He knew that there were many important things which he did
not know, which he once had known.
_Something must have happened to me._
That something could have been worse. If it had gone a little further,
he might have been left a mindless creature without a language, unaware
of being human, of being a man, of being of Earth. A certain amount had
been left to him.
But when he tried to think beyond the basic facts in his possession, he
came to a dark and horror-filled area. _Do Not Enter._ Exploration into
his own mind was as dangerous as a journey to--what? He couldn't find an
analogue, though he suspected that many existed.
_I must have been sick._
That was the only reasonable explanation. He was a man with the
recollection of memories. He must at one time have had that priceless
wealth of recall which now he could only deduce from the limited
evidence at his disposal. At one time he must have had specific memories
of birds, trees, friends, family, status, a wife perhaps. Now he could
only theorize about them. Once he had been able to say, this is like,
or, that reminds me of. Now nothing reminded him of anything, and things
were only like themselves. He had lost his powers of contrast and
comparison. He could no longer analyze the present in terms of the
experienced past.
_This must be a hospital._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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