United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
Step by step she had been retracing her early foolish fondness for the
man who had been her husband. How could she have been so blind! she was
asking herself. Why could she not have seen him with the eyes of
others,--that wise, kindly, far-sighted vision which scanned the present
with caution for her sake, and by its gauge measured the future with an
unerring and an appalled accuracy? How contemptuously, like a heroine of
romance indeed, she had flouted the well-meant opposition of her
relatives to her marriage! They had proved wise prophets. Drunkard,
gambler, spendthrift, he had wrecked her fortune and embittered her
whole life. The two years she had spent with him seemed an æon of
misery. They had obliterated the past as well as excluded the future.
Somehow she could not look beyond them into her earlier days save upon
those gradations of events--the swift courtship, the egregious,
headstrong, romantic resolution, the foolish love founded on false
ideals which led her at last to the altar, so confiding, so happy, so
disdainful of the grave faces and the disapproving shaking heads of all
her elder kith and kindred, so triumphant in setting them at naught and
enhancing Rufus Gwynn's victory with the quelling of their every claim.
In these long, quiet afternoons she would silently canvass humiliating
details--when was it that she had first known him for the liar he was;
when had she admitted to herself his inherent falsity? Even the truth
had faltered for his sake. She had eagerly sought to deceive herself--to
gloze over his lies, now told for a purpose, and constrained to their
misleading device, now thrown off without intention or effect, as if the
false were the more native incident of his moral atmosphere. Perhaps,
with the love that possessed her, she, too, might have acquired the
proclivity; she meditated on this possibility with a bowed head. At
first, when he lied to her, she herself could not distinguish the truth
from the false in his words. She had found herself at sea without a
rudder. However she might have desired to protect him, whether she might
have bent in time to deceit for his sake, there is a sort of monopoly
in falsehood. It is a game at which two cannot play to good effect. The
first time he struck her full in the face was in the fury which
possessed him, when, through her agency, a lie had been fairly fixed
upon him. She had given him as her authority for a statement she made to
Judge Roscoe, and her uncle had, in repeating it to him, discovered the
lie--the blatant open lie--that could not be qualified or gainsaid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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