The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
General
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
"O, don't get me roused up. I'm _so_ sleepy," she said drowsily.
"Well, I'd like to hear it." The interest in her little story which had
not been exhibited at the proper time was being exhibited now with a
vengeance. She sighed and said, "I can't think of it now--tell you in
the morning. Good night," and turned away.
When morning came and they were both awake, the doctor again referred to
the unfinished story.
"It's lost interest for me. It wasn't a story to start with, just a
little incident that seemed odd--"
"Well, let's have it."
"Well, then," said Mary, "I was writing away when the door-bell rang. I
went to open it and saw through the glass the laundry man--"
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Go on!" exclaimed her husband, hurriedly, "I'll wait till you finish."
"I'll not _race_ through a story in any such John Gilpin style," said
Mary, tartly. "Go, John!"
The doctor arose and went.
"No."
"I think not."
"Has she any fever?"
"All right, I'll be down in a little bit."
Then he went back. "Now you can finish," he said.
"Finis is written _here_," said Mary. "Don't say story to me again!" So
Mary's story remained unfinished.
But a few days later, when she was in the buggy with her husband she
relented. "Now that the 'phone can't cut me short, John, I will finish
about the odd incident just because you wanted to know. But it will fall
pretty flat now, as all things do with too many preliminary flourishes."
"Go on," said the doctor.
"Well, you know I told you I dated my letter back to Sunday afternoon,
and was writing away when I heard the door-bell ring. As I started
toward the door I saw the laundry man standing there. I was conscious of
looking at him in astonishment and in a dazed sort of way as I walked
across the large room to open the door. I am sure he must have noticed
the expression on my face. When I opened the door he asked as he always
does, 'Any laundry?'"
"'Any laundry _today_?' The words were on my tongue's end but I stopped
them in time. You see it was really Sunday to me, so deep into the
spirit of it had I got, and it was with a little shock that I came back
to Monday again in time to answer the man in a rational way. And now my
story's done."
"Not a bad one, either," said John, "I'm glad you condescended to finish
it."
* * * * *
The doctor came home at ten o'clock and went straight to bed and to
sleep. At eleven he was called.
"What is it?" he asked gruffly.
"It's time for Silas to take his medicine and he won't do it."
"Won't, eh?"
"No, he vows he won't."
"Well, let him alone for a while and then try again."
About one came another ring.
"We've both been asleep, Doctor, but I've been up fifteen minutes trying
to get him to take his medicine and he won't do it. He says it's too
damned nasty and that he don't need it anyhow."
"Tell him I say he's a mighty good farmer, but a devilish poor doctor."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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