The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
General
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
"Why, good afternoon, Mrs. Blank. I'm glad to see you out here. Yes,
come right in. How's the doctor?"
"Oh, he is well and happy--I think he expects to cut off a foot this
afternoon."
A boy with a frightened look on his face stood in the doctor's office
with one sleeve rolled up. The doctor adjusted the fracture, then
applied the splint while his wife held it steady until he had made it
secure. When the splint was in place and the boy had gone a messenger
came to tell the doctor he was wanted six miles away.
About half an hour afterward a little black-eyed woman came in and said
she wanted some more medicine like the last she took.
"The doctor's gone," said Mrs. Parkin, "and will not be back for several
hours."
"Well, you can get it for me, can't you?"
"Do you know the name of it?"
"No, but I believe I could tell it if I saw it," said the patient, going
to the doctor's shelves and looking closely at the bottles and phials
with their contents of many colors. She took up a three-ounce bottle.
"This is like the other bottle and I believe the medicine is just the
same color. Yes, I'm sure it is," she said, holding it up to the light.
Mary looked at her and then at Mrs. Parkin.
"I wouldn't like to risk it," said the latter lady.
"Oh, I'm not afraid. I don't want to wait until the doctor comes and I
know this must be like the other. It's exactly the same color."
"My good woman," said Mary, "you _certainly_ will not risk that. It
might kill you."
"No, Mrs. Dawson, you must either wait till the doctor comes or come
again," said Mrs. Parkin. The patient grumbled a little about having to
make an extra trip and took her leave.
When the door had closed behind her Mary asked the other doctor's wife
if she often had patients like that.
"Oh, yes. People come here when the doctor is away and either want me to
prescribe for them or to prescribe for themselves."
"You don't do it, do you?"
"Sometimes I do, when I am perfectly sure what I am doing. Having the
office here in the house so many years I couldn't help learning a few
things."
"I wouldn't prescribe for anything or anybody. I'd be afraid of killing
somebody." About an hour later Mary, looking out of the window, saw a
wagon stopping at the gate. It contained a man and a woman and two
well-grown girls.
"Hello!" called the man.
"People call you out instead of coming in. That is less trouble,"
observed Mary. The doctor's wife went to the door.
"Is Doc at home?"
"No, he has gone to the country."
"How soon will he be back?"
"Not before supper time, probably."
The man whistled, then looked at his wife and the two girls.
"Well, Sally," he said, "I guess we'd better git out and wait fur 'im."
"W'y, Pa, it'll be dark long before we git home, if we do."
"I can't help that. I'm not agoin' to drive eight miles tomorry or next
day nuther."
"If ye'd 'a started two hour ago like I wanted ye to do, maybe Doc'd 'a
been here and we c'd 'a been purty nigh home by this time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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