"All right. I'll 'diagnosis' it the first time I'm down that way--maybe this evening or tomorrow," and he slammed the receiver up and went to bed. * * * * * One evening the doctor was waiting for the stork at a farmhouse some miles from home. He concluded to telephone his wife as it might be several hours before he got in. He rang and put the receiver to his ear: "Did you put your washin' out today?" "No, did you?" "No, I thought it looked too rainy." "So did I. I hope it'll clear up by mornin'." "Have you got your baby to sleep yet?" "Land! yes. He goes to sleep right after supper." "Mine's not that kind of a kid. He's wider awake than any of us this minute." "Got your dress cut out?" "No, maybe I'll git around to it tomorrow afternoon, if I don't have forty other things to do." "Did ye hear about--" Seeing no chance to get in the doctor retreated. Half an hour later he rang again. A giggle and a loud girlish voice in his ear asking, "Is this you, Nettie?" "This is me." "Do you know who this is?" "Course I do." "Bet ye don't." "Bet I do." "Who?" "It's Mollie, of course." "You've guessed it. I tried to change my voice so you wouldn't know me." "What fer?" "Oh, cat-fur to make kitten breeches." Mild laughter. "I heard that you gave Jake the mitten last night." "Who told ye?" "Oh, a little bird." "Say! Who _did_ tell ye?" "You'll never, never tell if I do?" The clock near the patiently waiting doctor struck nine quick short strokes. "Did you hear that?" asked the first voice, startled. "Whose clock _is_ that?" "Johnson's haven't got one like that." "Miller's haven't neither." "I'll tell you--it's Gray's--their clock strikes quick like that." "Then there's somebody at their 'phone listenin'!" "Goodness! Maybe it's Jake, just like him!" "Jake Gray, if that's you, you're a mean eavesdroppin' sneak an' that's what I think of _you_! Good-bye, Nettie." And as the receiver slammed into its place the doctor shook with laughter. "This seems to be my opportunity," he thought, then rang and delivered the message to his wife. Often these dialogues kept him from hearing or delivering some important message and then he fumed inwardly, but tonight he had time to spare and to laugh. * * * * * After a little the 'phone rang. "It's someone wanting you, Doctor," said the man of the house who answered it. The doctor went. "Is this you, Doctor Blank?" "Yes." "I want you--" The doctor heard no more. This was a party line and every receiver on it came down. A dozen people were listening to find out who wanted the doctor and what for. All on the line knew that Doctor Blank had been at the Gray farmhouse for hours. The message being private, there was silence. The doctor waited a minute then his wrath burst forth. "Damn it! Hang up your receivers, all you eavesdroppers, so I can get this message!"