Janet sat down in a comfortable chair by the fire. She felt very
comfortable, in a state of pleasant exhilaration, but also with a faint
consciousness of having had, so to speak, the ground cut from under her
feet. If this was what it was to go out governessing, what was the
meaning of all the fables which she had been told from her childhood?
From _Jane Eyre_, to the _Family Herald_, they had all been in one
tale--there had been compensations of an exciting character, no doubt,
always, or almost always--but never a reception like this. She laughed
to herself as she sat and watched the firelight dancing in the mirror
over the mantelpiece, and in the dressing-glass on the table. Quite as
nice as coming on a visit, in short, just the same, though perhaps had
she come on a visit she would not have been at once and so fully taken
into the family concerns of her hosts. At the same time there was a
trifling disappointment in Janet’s little soul. She had fully intended
to conquer fate, to make a brilliant fight, to come out triumphant and
victorious more than words could say. And to find that there was nothing
to fight about, that all was to be easy and agreeable, every authority
on her side, and circumstances in her favor--took the wind out of her
sails, to change the metaphor. It brought a little ridicule into the
whole matter. To think that she had been so screwing up her courage,
fortifying herself, and that her heart had beat so high, and that she
had walked into this new world with such a determined little step, as if
she were marching to military music, with her colors flying and her
bugle sounding, all to fall into a lap of luxury, to be received with
open arms and almost caresses at the last!
In course of time, however, Janet reminded herself that instead of being
the last, this after all was only the very first of her new experiences.
Mrs. Harwood might turn out to be very different from the amiable and
jocular old lady she appeared at first. Gussy, instead of being the
nicest of fair-haired girls, might develop the falseness and treachery
which some people thought went with that complexion. Other complications
might arise. And then there was Ju.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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