“Oh, I have not been taken into anyone’s confidence. You gave
information--you heard him say it--which made a secret meeting
necessary, and--all that followed. One might say,” said Dolff, with a
cheerless laugh, “that everything had followed. I went mad, I suppose,
for a little while; and you know as well as I do what I did. Oh, I am
very well aware that you know. You saved me in your way after you had
ruined me. Fellows say that women are like that--driving you mad first,
and then---- But I never was one that talked about women--till I knew
you.”
“I am very sorry,” said Janet, “to have given you a bad opinion of
women; but I don’t know why Mr. Meredith----” Here her voice faltered a
little in spite of herself.
“Ah!” cried Dolff, fiercely, “you have found out that fellow is not
worth his salt, yet you could cry when you say his name.”
“It is nothing of the sort,” exclaimed Janet. “_I_ cry--for any man in
the world! You don’t know me, Mr. Harwood. Mr. Meredith, I remember,
walked home a part of the road with me, as it was a dark night. There
are some men who think that is a right thing when they meet a lady
alone; and, though I am the governess, I am not very old. I think it
very old-fashioned, and unnecessary, and I am not afraid to go anywhere
alone.”
“You know very well if you had wished for an escort, Miss
Summerhayes----”
“Yes, Mrs. Harwood would have liked her son to be at the command of the
governess! Mr. Meredith walked home with me out of a civility which is
old-fashioned, and he stood talking, which it seems is his way--with
ladies. A man like that,” said Janet, almost fiercely, “will never learn
that all girls are not alike, and that some detest these old-fashioned
ways of being polite. But there was not in all that any reason for
knocking the man down. I supposed when I saw it that you were, perhaps,
working out some old quarrel.”
“You thought,” said Dolff, grinding his teeth, “that I had watched him,
and flew at him, by premeditation, to take him at a disadvantage--not
because I was driven mad to see him holding you by the hands.”
“How could I know one thing or another? There was no reason for anyone
being mad about me: I can take care of myself without anyone
interfering. But I did not want any scandal, I do not want to be mixed
up in it; when a girl’s name is mentioned it is always she that gets the
whole blame. You know what they say, ‘Oh, there was a woman at the
bottom of it.’ Now, I had done nothing wrong, I was not at the bottom of
it. Whatever you choose to say, it was no doing of mine.”
“One of the things that fellow says,” said Dolff, “is that a woman has
always reasons to show she is never wrong.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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