“You should know that your guardian was incapable of the lowness the
world imputes to him! I am not trying to belittle the sin, but to
distinguish the motive. His wrong was no mean attempt to enrich himself
at the expense of one he loved, for his nature was wholly unmercenary,
and his transgression originated, not through greed, but through lack
of it. Like all men of true intellect, he was heedless in money
matters, and I am conscious that there was in him, as there is in me,
the certain weakness which is almost inevitable with mind
cultivation,—an engulfing, as it were, of the big principles of right
and wrong in the complexities and the refinements of cultivated
thought. His birthright was scholarship, but in place of the life he
was fitted for he was forced into Wall Street, and toiled there without
sympathy or aptitude for his work. Do you not remember how, aside from
our companionship, his books were his one great pleasure? The wealth of
mind he gave to us tells the story of how he must have neglected his
office in favor of his library. Yet though this preference might have
made him a poor man, I cannot think his studies would ever have led him
into dishonesty. I have never had the heart to trace the history of his
act, but Mr. Blodgett tells me that shortly after his marriage he first
began to speculate, and knowing as I do my mother’s extravagance and my
father’s love for her, I can understand the motive. The inevitable
result came presently, and, as a temporary expedient, a small part of
your property was used. Then a desperate attempt was made to recover
this by the risking of a larger portion, and after that there was
nothing left but confession or flight. I wish he had spoken, but the
weakness that produced the first wrong accounts for the second, and I
believe his chief thought was of me, and how I might be saved from the
consequences of his guilt. Unless you have put him wholly out of your
heart, you must appreciate that it was no sordid scheme to cheat you,
but a surrender to the love strong enough to overcome his honesty. You
must know that he loved you too well to wrong you willingly, and I
think with pain of what I am sure he must have suffered in his shame at
having robbed you. Do you not remember the sadness in his face in those
later years, and his tenderness to both of us? Can you not see that his
kindness, his patience, and his care of us were his endeavored
atonement?”
Oh, Maizie, I ask nothing for myself, but if you could be brought to
think of him, to love him, as you once did, my greatest grief would be
ended.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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