What a delight the ocean voyage was to us! Those were the times of
ten-day trips, still dear to all true lovers of the sea; and had our
wishes been consulted, thrice ten would have been none too long for our
passage. The officers, the crew, the stewards, and the passengers were
no more proof against your indefinable spell than was I, and it seemed
quite as if the boat were your private yacht, with all on board seeking
only to serve you. Our pleasure was so intense that we planned an ideal
future, in which I was to become the captain of a steam-ship, and you
were to live on the vessel in some equally delightful if impossible
capacity.
The last time I was in Paris, I walked several miles merely to look at
the outside of our pension, and then went on and sat dreaming in the
little park near it in which we passed so many hours of our stay in
that city. As of old, the place was full of children and nurses, and I
understood what had puzzled me not a little in recollection,—how you
and I, without mingling with them, had learned so quickly the language
they chattered. Do you remember their friendly advances, met only by
rebuffs? My coldness flowed from shyness, and yours from a trait that
people to this day call haughtiness, but which I know to be only a
fastidious refinement that yields acquaintance to few and friendship to
fewer. From the moment you came into my life I craved no other friend,
and you seemed equally content. What was there in me that won for me
what you gave so rarely? Was there an instinct of natural sympathy, or
was it merely pity for me in the loving heart you masked behind that
subtle face?
It is indicative of what children we still were that during the whole
of our sojourn in Paris neither of us was conscious that our standard
of living had changed. We lodged in a cheap pension; instead of our own
carriage we used the omnibus; and a thousand other evidences told the
story of real economy; yet not one we observed except the disappearance
of our _bonne_, and this was noted, not as a loss, but as a joy to
both.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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