he who had stolen all from me, all, all, from my father's life even to
my mother's love, he, the real, the only culprit. Yes, I would lay hold
of him, and contrive and execute my vengeance, while my mother should
never suspect the existence of that duel out of which I should come
triumphant. I was intoxicated beforehand with the idea of the punishment
which I would find means to inflict upon the man whom I execrated. It
warmed my heart only to think of how this would repay my long, cruel
martyrdom. "To work! to work!" I cried aloud. I trembled lest this
should be nothing but a delusion, lest Edmond Termonde should have
already left the country, my stepfather having previously purchased his
silence. At nine o'clock I was in an abominable Private Inquiry
Office--merely to have passed its threshold would have seemed to me a
shameful action, only a few hours before. At ten, I was with my broker,
giving him instructions to sell out 100,000 francs' worth of shares for
me. That day passed, and then a second. How I bore the succession of the
hours, I know not. I do know that I had not courage to go to my mother's
house, or to see her again. I feared she might detect my wild hope in my
eyes, and unconsciously forewarn my stepfather by a sentence or a word,
as she had unconsciously informed me. Towards noon, on the third day, I
learned that my stepfather had gone out that morning. It was a
Wednesday, and on that day my mother always attended a meeting for some
charitable purpose in the Grenelle quarter. M. Termonde had changed his
cab twice, and had alighted from the second vehicle at the Grand Hotel.
There he had paid a visit to a traveller who occupied a room on the
second floor (No. 353); this person's name was entered in the list of
arrivals as Stanbury. At noon I was in possession of these particulars,
and at two o'clock I ascended the staircase of the Grand Hotel, with a
loaded revolver and a note-case containing one hundred bank-notes,
wherewith to purchase the letters, in my pocket.
Was I about to enter on a formidable scene in the drama of my life, or
was I about to be convinced that I had been once more made the dupe of
my own imagination?
At all events, I should have done my duty.
XVI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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