gesture of despair, clutching the sheet with her thin fingers, while
tears streamed from her poor eyes.
Ah! how bitterly ashamed I am of what I am going to write in this place!
I will write it, however, for I have sworn to myself that I will be
true, even to the avowal of that fault, even to the avowal of a worse
still. I had no difficulty in understanding what was passing in my
aunt's mind; the little packet--it had fallen on the carpet close to the
fender--evidently contained letters which she wished to destroy, so that
I should not read them. She might have burned them, dreading as she did
their fatal influence upon me, long since; yet I understood why she had
shrunk from doing this, year after year, I, who knew with what idolatry
she worshipped the smallest objects that had belonged to my father. Had
I not seen her put away the blotting-book which he used when he came to
Compiègne, with the paper and envelopes that were in it at his last
visit? Yes, she had gone on waiting, still waiting, before she could
bring herself to part for ever with those dear and dangerous letters,
and then her sudden illness came, and with it the terrible thought that
these papers would come into my possession. I could also take into
account that the unreasonable distrust which she had yielded to of late
had prevented her from asking Jean or Julie for the little coffer. This
was the secret--I understood it on the instant--of the poor thing's
impatience for my arrival, the secret also of the trouble I had
witnessed. And now her strength had betrayed her. She had vainly
endeavoured to throw the letters into the fire, that fire which she
could hear crackling, without being able to raise her head so as to see
the flame. All these notions which presented themselves suddenly to my
thoughts took form afterwards; at the moment they melted into pity for
the suffering of the helpless creature before me.
"Do not disturb yourself, dear aunt," said I, as I drew the coverlet up
to her shoulders, "I am going to burn those letters."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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