"He has not forgotten you," I answered. In this I lied; for M. Massol
had never spoken of my stepfather to me; but that frenzy which had made
me attack him almost madly in the conversation of the other evening had
seized upon me again. Should I never find the vulnerable spot in that
dark soul for which I was always looking? This time his eyes did not
falter, and whatever there was of the enigmatical in what I had said,
did not lead him to question me farther. On the contrary, he put his
finger on his lips. Used as he was to all the sounds of the house, he
had heard a step approaching, and knew it was my mother's. Did I deceive
myself, or was there an entreaty that I would respect the unsuspecting
security of an innocent woman in the gesture by which he enjoined
silence? Was I to translate the look that accompanied the sign into: "Do
not awaken suspicion in your mother's mind, she would suffer too much;"
and was his motive merely the solicitude of a man who desires to save
his wife from the revival of a sad remembrance? She came in; with the
same glance she saw us both, lighted by the same ray from the lamp, and
she gave us a smile, meant for both of us in common, and fraught with
the same tenderness for each. It had been the dream of her life that we
should be together thus, and both of us with her, and, as she had told
me at Compiègne, she imputed the obstacles which had hindered the
realisation of her dream to my moody disposition. She came towards us,
smiling, and carrying a silver tray with a glass of Vichy water upon it;
this she held out to my stepfather, who drank the water eagerly, and,
returning the glass to her, kissed her hand.
"Let us leave him to rest," she said, "his head is burning." Indeed, in
merely touching the tips of his fingers, which he placed in mine, I
could feel that he was highly feverish; but how was I to interpret this
symptom, which was ambiguous like all the others, and might, like them,
signify either moral or physical distress? I had sworn to myself that I
would know; but how?--how?
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