my stepfather how he was, in a voice that sounded to me like that of
another person, I avoided meeting his eyes. My mother had gone out
immediately after announcing me, to attend to some small matters
relative to the well-being of her dear invalid. My stepfather questioned
me upon the ballot at the club which he had assigned as a pretext for
his wish to see me. I sat with my elbow on the marble top of the table
and my forehead resting in my hand; although I did not catch his eye I
felt that he was studying my face, and I persisted in looking fixedly
into the half-open drawer where a small pocket-pistol, of English make,
lay side by side with his watch, and a brown silk purse, also made for
him by my mother. What were the dark misgivings revealed by the presence
of this weapon placed within reach of his hand and probably habitually
placed there? Did he interpret my thoughts from my steady observation?
Or had he, too, let his glance fall by chance upon the pistol, and was
he pursuing the ideas that it suggested in order to keep up the talk it
was always so difficult to maintain between us? The fact is that he
said, as though replying to the question in my mind: "You are looking at
that pistol, it is a pretty thing, is it not?" He took it up, turned it
about in his hand, and then replaced it in the drawer, which he closed.
"I have a strange fancy, quite a mania; I could not sleep unless I had a
loaded pistol, there, quite close to me. After all it is a habit which
does no harm to any one, and might have its advantages. If your poor
father had carried a weapon like that upon him when he went to the
Imperial Hotel, things would not have gone so easily with the assassin."
This time I could not refrain from raising my eyes and seeking his. How,
if he were guilty, did he dare to recall this remembrance? Why, if he
were not, did his glance sink before mine? Was it merely in following
out an association of ideas that he referred thus to the death of my
father; was it for the purpose of displaying his entire unconcern
respecting the subject-matter of our last interview; or was he using a
probe to discover the depth of my suspicion? After this allusion to the
mysterious murder which had made me fatherless, he went on to say:
"And, by-the-bye, have you seen M. Massol again?"
"No," said I, "not since the other day."
"He is a very intelligent man. At the time of that terrible affair, I
had a great deal of talk with him, in my capacity as the intimate friend
of both your father and mother. If I had known that you were in the
habit of seeing him latterly, I should have asked you to convey my kind
regards."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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