Still less must it be thought that because Dr. Duff was so honoured in lands, near and afar, and had been the means of leading so many converts to Christ, that his heart was lifted up with spiritual pride. Brahmans indeed had declared that there was never such a man seen in the country before, but what did the gifted Missionary think of "himself?" An extract from Dr. Duff's private journal gives us a glimpse of the brave strong Christian, not as he appeared in the school-room, the lecture-hall, or the Church, but as he was when on his knees in his chamber, alone with his God. Read and ponder over what follows, ye who think that a man can be justified by his works. "All my days I have been a child of Providence, the Lord leading me and guiding me in ways unknown to me, in ways of His own, and for the accomplishment of His own heavenly ends. Oh! that I were more worthy! But somehow I feel as if the more marvellous the Lord's dealings with me, the more cold, heartless and indolent I become. Is not this sad, is it not terrible! All the finer ores are melted by the fire, the earthy clay is hardened. Oh! God, forbid that this should continue to be my doleful case! May I be like the gold and silver ore, when warmed and heated by the fire of Thy loving-kindnesses, may I be melted, fused, purified, refined, assimilated to Thy own holy nature! Oh! Lord, soften, break, melt this hard heart of mine!" If such a man so wrote, so felt, so condemned himself, what mortal on earth can boast over what he is, or what he has done! The devoted, self-sacrificing Duff trusted in nothing in himself, his only hope of Heaven was in the Saviour who died for sinners, the blood which cleanseth from guilt! ———————— CHAPTER XII. A HOLIDAY WITHOUT REST. When it became known in Scotland that Dr. Duff declined going home to become Divinity Professor, he was urged at least to return for a limited time. There was so much work to be done in Britain; so much good, it was truly said, might result to the Missionary cause by Dr. Duff's pleading for it again, as he had pleaded before. It is doubtful whether Dr. Duff would have consented even to this, had he had health, after ten years of hard labour in this second visit to India, to remain without a change. But the doctor urged him to go home for a while after work which had "evidently shattered his constitution," and Dr. Duff submitted to what he felt to be the Will of the Lord. He gathered all the information which he could regarding missions in various parts of India to make use of in his addresses at home, and in May 1850 found himself in his native land, and in the bosom of his family once more.