Great Britain -- History -- Mary I, 1553-1558 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
But should I accept the Bishop's offer? It never crossed my mind to do
so. He had humiliated me, and I hated him for it. Longing to cut
myself off from my old life, I could not support a patron who would
know, and might cast in my teeth the old shame. A third reason, too,
worked powerfully with me as I became cooler. This was the conviction
that, apart from the glitter which the old man's craft had cast about
it, the part he would have me play was that of a spy--an informer! A
creature like--I dared not say like my father, yet I had him in my
mind. And from this, from the barest suspicion of this, I shrank as
the burned puppy from the fire--shrank with fierce twitching of nerve
and sinew.
Yet if I would not accept his offer it was clear I must fend for
myself. His threats meant as much as that, and I smiled sternly as I
found necessity at one with inclination. I would leave Coton End at
once, and henceforth I would fight for my own hand. I would have no
name until I had made for myself a new one.
This resolve formed, I turned and went back to the house, and felt my
way to my own chamber. The moonlight poured through the lattice and
fell white on my pallet. I crossed the room and stood still. Down the
middle of the coverlet--or my eyes deceived me--lay a dark line.
I stooped mechanically to see what this was and found my own sword
lying there; the sword which Sir Anthony had given me on my last
birthday. But how had it come there? As I took it up something soft
and light brushed my hand and drooped from the hilt. Then I
remembered. A week before I had begged Petronilla to make me a
sword-knot of blue velvet for use on state occasions. No doubt she had
done it, and had brought the sword back this evening, and laid it
there in token of peace.
I sat down on my bed, and softer and kindlier thoughts came to me;
thoughts of love and gratitude, in which the old man who had been a
second father to me had part. I would go as I had resolved, but I
would return to them when I had done a thing worth doing; something
which should efface the brand that lay on me now.
With gentle fingers I disengaged the velvet knot and thrust it into my
bosom. Then I tied about the hilt the old leather thong, and began to
make my preparations; considering this or that route while I hunted
for my dagger and changed my doublet and hose for stouter raiment and
long, untanned boots. I was yet in the midst of this, when a knock at
the door startled me.
"Who is there?" I asked, standing erect.
For answer Martin Luther slid in, closing the door behind him. The
fool did not speak, but turning his eyes first on one thing and then
on another nodded sagely.
"Well?" I growled.
"You are off, master," he said, nodding again. "I thought so."
"Why did you think so?" I retorted impatiently.
"It is time for the young birds to fly when the cuckoo begins to
stir," he answered.
I understood him dimly and in part. "You have been listening," I said
wrathfully, my cheeks burning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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