Gösta used to sit in the little blue cabinet, where there is such a
glorious view over the lake, and read poetry to her. There can be no harm
in that. He does not forget that she is a countess, and he a homeless
adventurer; and it is good for him to be with some one whom he holds high
and holy. He could just as well be in love with the Queen of Sheba as
with her.
He only asks to be allowed to wait on her as a page waits on his noble
mistress: to fasten her skates, to hold her skeins, to steer her sled.
There cannot be any question of love between them; he is just the man to
find his happiness in a romantic, innocent adoration.
The young count is silent and serious, and Gösta is playfully gay. He is
just such a companion as the young countess likes. No one who sees her
fancies that she is hiding a forbidden love. She thinks of dancing,—of
dancing and merry-making. She would like the earth to be quite flat,
without stones, without hills or seas, so that she could dance
everywhere. From the cradle to the grave she would like to dance in her
small, thin-soled, satin slippers.
But rumor is not very merciful to young women.
When the guests come to dinner at Borg, the men generally, after the
meal, go into the count’s room to sleep and smoke; the old ladies sink
down in the easy-chairs in the drawing-room, and lean their venerable
heads against the high backs; but the countess and Anna Stjärnhök go into
the blue cabinet and exchange endless confidences.
The Sunday after the one when Anna Stjärnhök took Ulrika Dillner back to
Berga they are sitting there again.
No one on earth is so unhappy as the young girl. All her gayety is
departed, and gone is the glad defiance which she showed to everything
and everybody who wished to come too near her.
Everything which had happened to her that day has sunk back into the
twilight from which it was charmed; she has only one distinct impression
left,—yes, one, which is poisoning her soul.
“If it really was not God who did it,” she used to whisper to herself.
“If it was not God, who sent the wolves?”
She asks for a sign, she longs for a miracle. She searches heaven and
earth. But she sees no finger stretched from the sky to point out her way.
As she sits now opposite the countess in the blue cabinet, her eyes fall
on a little bunch of hepaticas which the countess holds in her white
hand. Like a bolt it strikes her that she knows where the flowers have
grown, that she knows who has picked them.
She does not need to ask. Where else in the whole countryside do
hepaticas bloom in the beginning of April, except in the birch grove
which lies on the slopes of Ekeby?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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