There was a breathless silence in the church during the prayer. But
suddenly the minister with both hands caught hold of the ribbons which
held his surplice. It seemed to him as if the whole congregation, with
the bishop at the head, were stealing up the pulpit steps to take his
bands from him. He was kneeling and his head was turned away, but he
could feel how they were dragging, and he saw them so plainly, the
bishop and the deans, the clergymen, the churchwardens, the sexton, and
the whole assemblage in a long line, tearing and straining to get his
surplice off. And he could picture to himself how all these people who
were dragging so eagerly would fall over one another down the steps when
the bands gave way, and the whole row of them below, who had not got up
as far as his cape, but only to the skirts of his coat, would also fall.
He saw it all so plainly that he had to smile as he knelt, but at the
same time a cold sweat broke out on his forehead. The whole thing was too
horrible.
That he should now become a dishonored man for the sake of brandy. A
clergyman, dismissed! Was there anything on God’s earth more wretched?
He should be one of the beggars at the roadside, lie drunk at the edge of
a ditch, go dressed in rags, with vagrants for companions.
The prayer was ended. He should read his sermon. Then a thought came to
him and checked the words on his lips. He thought that it was the last
time he should stand in the pulpit and proclaim the glory of God.
For the last time—that took hold of him. He forgot the brandy and the
bishop. He thought that he must use the chance, and testify to the glory
of God.
He thought that the floor of the church with all his hearers sank deep,
deep down, and the roof was lifted off, so that he saw far into the sky.
He stood alone, quite alone in his pulpit; his spirit took its flight to
the heavens opened above him; his voice became strong and powerful, and
he proclaimed the glory of God.
He was inspired. He left what he had written; thoughts came to him like a
flock of tame doves. He felt, as if it were not he who spoke, but he felt
too that it was the best earth had to give, and that no one could reach
a greater height of brilliancy and splendor than he who stood there and
proclaimed the glory of God.
As long as the flame of inspiration burned in him he continued to speak,
but when it died out, and the roof sank down over the church, and the
floor came up again from far, far below, he bowed his head and wept, for
he thought that the best of life, for him, was now over.
After the service came the inspection and the vestry meeting. The bishop
asked if the congregation had any complaints to make against their
clergyman.
The minister was no longer angry and defiant as before the sermon. Now
he was ashamed and hung his head. Oh, all the miserable brandy stories,
which were coming now!
But none came. There was a deep silence about the long table in the
parish-hall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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