Good gracious! It was blackguardly and monstrous! Kitty of all women!
To have "predestined spinster" written large all over you was bad
enough, without being played upon thus and then cast back into
spinsterhood after all! And this new softness of Kitty's, this timid
opening of the heart, this new, awkward unselfishness, these pathetic
little maxims of conduct! The man must be a cur. Deliberately to waken
a heart that was sealed, asleep and not unhappy, and then to leave it
to a pain it must keep for ever--good gracious!
Still ignorant of the tell-tale red in her own cheeks, she found Mr.
Jeffries vile.
But she must be just to Mr. Jeffries. Perhaps she was wrong. Perhaps
there was--nay, there must be--something she didn't know. Why, even if
Mr. Jeffries could be so cruel, Kitty herself could hardly be so
blind. Struggle with new magnanimities as she would, jealousy was
native to Kitty, and jealousy has sharp eyes. No, she, Louie herself,
was building a fantastic fabric. It was mere common-sense that Kitty
must be supposed to be capable of looking after herself.
But it was one thing to tell herself that she must suspend her
judgment and another to do it. That theory of hers seemed to unroll
itself brightly and convincingly before her again. She would discard
it when she found one that better explained the known facts. Mr.
Jeffries was with Evie Soames at that moment. Louie's thoughts flew
to Evie Soames.
It was then that she became conscious that her cheeks were hot. It was
then also that she told herself angrily that they were not, and found
them grow hotter still. The hotter they grew the more she denied their
heat. Why should they grow hot? And even granting that they were hot,
wasn't this imposture that was being practised on Kitty enough to make
anybody's cheek hot? That was it. That discovery made, she admitted
the heat--for Kitty's sake. That that great, taciturn, clever man
should be infatuated by that pretty fool she resented--for Kitty's
sake. That his sleek head, bright as the coat of Buck's horse, should
stoop over that empty dark one she found ironically unfit--for Kitty's
sake. She told herself all this, forgetting that she had just set
Kitty's engagement down also as an absurdity. Her indignation would
have been neither more nor less honest had Mr. Jeffries engaged
himself (as according to her theory he might quite well have done) to
Miriam Levey.
Or to herself.
She lay, the colour coming and going.
At last she roused herself and sat up. "Pretty thoughts for an
expectant mother!" she muttered. "I'll go downstairs and talk to Dot."
She dressed, and descended to the nurses' sitting-room in the
basement.
Miss Dot and her Registrar were there; they had just come in from a
walk. They were telling of a nightingale they had heard sing near
Queens Mere. "Oh, and we saw your friend again, the one who came to
tea," said Miss Dot, turning to Louie.
Louie pricked up her ears. "Oh? Alone?" she said quickly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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